Ask Chad Love, Sex, & Dating: Dildos, Straights, & Hard Roomies

Ask Chad Love, Sex, & Dating: Dildos, Straights, & Hard Roomies

Hello, Sexies! Well, we are a week into the New Year and I don’t feel any different. Is anyone else with me? I don’t know what I expected, dancing unicorns or something. Getting back to the grind after the holidays seems extra slow this year, I still just want to cuddle under the covers and eat cookies. But, with this new political administration coming in, we need to get our ish together and wake up and get ready. Having hot sex helps. Lol.

Keep those dating, sex, and love questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

 My boyfriend and I always have really hot sex. We’ve been together for three years and our bedroom antics haven’t slowed down at all. As a joke, I bought him a dildo for Christmas. I told him it was for when I was traveling. We used it Christmas night for fun, and laughed about it. Here’s the thing, now he wants to use it every time we have sex. Like, literally, every time. I don’t like sex toys, never have, and it was a joke. Now he wants me to use it on him all the time to get him off. Am I not big enough? Am I being replaced by a dildo? I really don’t like using it. What should I do?

Dildo Dan

Dear Dildo Dan,

When I was a kid, I begged and begged for a set of Transformers. It was all I could talk about. On Christmas Day, I got my Transformers. I would put them in my pocket and carry them around with me 24/7. I even tried taking them to school. Cut to a month later, and they were thrown in the corner of my toy box. I got bored. Chances are, your boo will get bored with the dildo. It’s new and if you’ve been having great sex for three years, chances are there are no issues with the size of your dick. Let it run its course and it will collect dust in the nightstand. When he wants to pull it out next you have sex, just smile and say “not tonight” and give him the best dicking down you ever have given him. He’ll forget about his new toy.

_____

Hey Chad,

My bestie is head over heels with this straight guy he met at work. Well, he says he’s straight. My bestie is beyond obsessed. This “straight” guy lets my friend take him to the gay bars almost every night. My friend is paying for all of his alcohol. One time, the straight guy got really drunk and kissed him. He denied it the next day and it hasn’t happened again. My bestie keeps showering him with gifts and drinks thinking it is going to go somewhere. Also, the straight friend forbids that they acknowledge their friendship at work. It is so infuriating. Because I’ve called him out on his behavior, I don’t get invited out with them. So I’m losing my bestie to a “straight” guy who is taking all of his time and money. And my bestie isn’t even getting sex out of it. What the hell?

Over the Straights

Dear Over the Straights,

Oh lord. Falling for straight guys used to be my hobby. But at least I’d get some sex after a few beers, LOL. Your bestie is just being an idiot and hoping for that one time things might progress further. It might happen, it might not, but this guy still isn’t going to date your friend. Your friend is being delusional, especially if he is sacrificing his respect by not even being able to be friends at work. That is some high school bull. But, as with any bad relationship, no one will see the truth until they see it for themselves. You can warn your friend till you are blue in the face and you will just come off like the bad guy. It sucks that your friendship is being passed over for this fake relationship, but there is nothing you can really do about it. For me, I wouldn’t put too much value in a friendship that is so easily replaceable by a fake relationship. Focus on your other friends.

_____

Dear Chad,

My good friend moved in so we could both save money on rent. I love the company, we get along really well, and things have been going fine. Lately, he’s been walking around the house in just his underwear. After our years of friendship, I had no clue he was so hung. LOL. I’ve never really thought about him in a sex sort of way, but now I’m stealing glances and having naughty thoughts. I even jerked off at the idea of blowing him. What do I do now?

Rock Hard Roomie

Dear Rock Hard Roomie,

In the words of Cher, “Snap out of it!” If he has never shown you any interest in a sex kind of way, then chances are he is more than fine with just being friends. Don’t make it awkward and ruin a friendship or a good living situation. Stop jerking off about him, stop staring, there are plenty of other guys out there with great dicks. Don’t mess up what you have. If you find yourself obsessing over him, go watch a hot porn star’s latest scene, shift your fantasy. If that still doesn’t work and you are hot, I’ll come over and blow you to help get your mind off of him. Then I can blow him while you watch. Just kidding. But seriously, get over it.

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