Ask Chad Love & Dating: Sniffies, TikTokers, & Open Relationships!

Ask Chad Love & Dating: Sniffies, TikTokers, & Open Relationships!

Hello, Sexies! Time flies when you’re being slutty! I can’t believe it’s just about Christmas. Trust, I’ve been busy trying to keep Santa’s sack full. How are you all getting through the holiday season? I hope it has been full of grey sweatpants viewings. LOL. I just wanted to take this moment to thank you all for sending in your questions and coming back for more of my totally unprofessional advice. I hope you all have a good holiday and an amazing New Year’s Eve. I’m sure I’ll have some shenanigans to tell you about in my next edition.

Keep those dating, sex, and love questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

 I have a boyfriend who really cares for me and says he loves me, but I’m not sure I feel the same way yet. There are moments when I feel uncertain and disconnected from him, and I’m unsure if it’s because of unresolved personal issues or if I’m just not ready for this level of commitment. As a bottom, I’m also struggling with our intimacy. He’s very affectionate and attentive, but I’m not always sure how comfortable I am with it. We also decided to explore an open relationship with other men, but I’m not sure how that’s affecting how I feel about him. I don’t want to hurt him, but I’m also trying to figure out my own feelings. What should I do? Should I talk to him about my discomfort, or is it better for me to take a step back and process things on my own? Any advice would be really helpful.

Hesitant Harry

Dear Hesitant Harry,

It does sound like you have a lot of personal stuff going on that could be blocking you from feeling intimate on a certain level. Maybe take a look at what made you say yes to dating in the first place, has something changed? With any relationship, there are bound to be ups and downs in these uncertain times, we can feel strongly one day and differently the next. But there should be at least some connection, as it sounds like he’s doing all the right things. And from what you’ve stated, you are having issues both physically and emotionally. At the end of the day, you have to be true to yourself and you are feeling in your core. You can’t force emotions to happen if they just aren’t there, you can’t make yourself love someone just because it seems right. Also, and this is coming from a super slut like me, I don’t think having an open relationship is the best way to go at this point, it’s just a band-aid on a situation that needs to be addressed, and opening up yourself to other men physically is probably not the best idea given you don’t feel connected with your boyfriend. Ultimately, you will need to tell him what’s going on. It's only fair to him and he probably does feel a disconnect when you pull away. You also owe it to yourself to be open and honest. But here’s my biggest suggestion, I think you should seek out some personal therapy to talk all this out with a professional and see what might be causing the block. Deal with your own issues and yourself first, then you can come to your boyfriend with some insight and action items that have been facilitated by a professional. And sometimes relationships just don’t work out, and that’s ok. But staying in something half-heartedly is damaging to both parties. We are coming into a New Year, so use that opportunity to explore what is going on with you. Good luck!

_____

Hey Chad,

My husband and I are pretty popular on OnlyFans and social media. We have been together for about 7 years, and have been doing the content creator thing for about 3 years. Here’s the thing, I am losing interest in doing the social media stuff. We have fun doing OnlyFans and it provides us a good income, so I’m fine with that. But doing our Instagram reels and TikToks is so exhausting, from planning them out to filming them to editing them to posting them. My hubby is very meticulous about everything and he takes all the fun out of creating content and we usually end up in some sort of fight just to get them done. He annoys the shit out of me when he is in content creator mode and we are not getting along more and more, but he insists that we have to do them to grow our audience. I’m frazzled and want to take a break from it all. I feel like it is ruining our relationship. Any advice?

TikTok Todd

Dear TikTok Todd,

More than a number of social media couples have broken up once they’ve peaked on social media. People don’t realize how much work goes into creating an effective social media brand, it isn’t easy. Also, working with your husband isn’t easy. You spend all your time together and there is little to no individual time and that would cause an issue even with the most perfect couple. You do need to take time out for yourselves individually. Spending every waking moment together and then having to create so many videos per week can definitely put a strain on the relationship, it takes the fun and the spark away. And yes, doing social media can grow your fan base and help increase your OnlyFans subscriptions, but at what cost? Is it worth the constant fighting and possible breakup? Why don’t you guys take a couple of weeks off and see how that feels? Maybe you just need to cut back on the amount of output, create some date time when the phones and cameras are off, and rediscover your relationship away from the fans. Any job needs a vacation and that also goes towards relationships, sometimes you just need a little breather.

_____

Dear Chad,

My boyfriend is always on Sniffies. Like ALWAYS. We have a very adventurous sex life and in the last couple of years, we’ve really gotten crazy. He loves watching me take loads from other guys, we also get into public play and group stuff. I like the sex part, it has really added some spice to our relationship, but now it’s a constant thing with him. When we are at home watching TV, or when we are out at the clubs or dinner, or if we are on vacation, literally any time I’ll look over and he’ll be on the hunt on the app. Has he become addicted? Again, I don’t mind the fun sex hooking up, but I don’t need it every second of the day, and my ass can only take so much pounding in a week. Help!

Sassy Sniffies

Dear Sassy Sniffies,

I can’t believe I am saying this, but everything works better in moderation. And trust me, I have more than my fair share of time on the apps looking for dick, but I also have a life to live. If this is truly becoming something that he always has to do, there may be an issue. Also, it sounds like he’s not focusing on the relationship the way he should if he is always trying to whore you out. It can be hot, but if it is taking over every other aspect of the relationship, maybe not so healthy. Also, just like eating too much amazing chocolate cake, it gets old after a while and doesn’t offer the same excitement and allure. You need to tell him how you feel and maybe put some limits on how often you guys log on. If he isn’t willing to do that, then you definitely have an issue. Sex and hookup app addiction is real, you need to figure out why he feels the need to constantly be looking around. Is he not satisfied with the relationship? Does it stem from personal issues? Sit him down and have a very open convo about it. But put your foot down if it bothers you. You guys can come to a compromise. P.S. Link with me on Sniffies, I love group stuff too, LOL.