Gay Dating Red Flags, Beware!

November 19, 2024
ALEXANDER

Gay Dating Red Flags, Beware!

Dating is hard. Girl, gay dating? Even harder. While many of us are jumping from bed to bed, hookup app to hookup app, there is a contingent among us who are looking for actual love and relationships. Crazy, huh? The fact is, some of us didn't come out till later in life so we missed all the youthful flings and hookups and partying that we were supposed to do as out gay men earlier. Some of us are a little stunted, maturity-wise, when it comes to gay dating because we are still sowing our oats and reclaiming lost time. This makes the gay dating pool even harder to navigate. We put together some of the top red flags that you have told us have soured your experience.

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Being Fetishized!

We all have our own types. Some of us like tall, some of us like beefy, and some of us love our Latinos. But beware the guy who wants to date you ONLY because you fit a certain box off his menu. If they love their Latinos and they insist on calling you papi and want you to wear a sombrero in bed, or, if they love that you have a little extra around the middle and they try to feed you pizza in bed after dinner, you may be gay dating someone who is just into fetish wise. They don't want to get to know the real you, they don't fall in love with the actual person, they fall in love with their fetish. This even rings true if the hot guy at the gym is totally into you just because you can work out together for hours a day, he's just into the physical aspect of it. Watch out for undercover fetishizers in the gay dating world!

Ghosting

Halloween comes once a year, but in the gay dating world, ghosting is just a regular force of nature. Beware the guy who texts you a bunch one day, then goes silent for a few days, then comes back with no explanation. Or the guy that you go on a date with, hookup, and then he doesn't contact you until the next time he's feeling horny. These are just ghosters who only float around when they want their needs met. You have needs too. Be a ghostbuster, send them on their way!

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Uber Trendy

We all like guys who take pride in their life. We like guys who dress well, brush their hair and teeth, and don't mind a nice restaurant every now and then. We aren't just talking about being financially secure, although that's great too, we are talking about just having pride for yourself. Well, in gay dating, this can get out of hand. If you're dating someone who always has to be wearing the top labels, always has to be dining at the most trendy places, always needs to get the bottle service for everyone to see, or needs to get their haircut every week, you may be dating someone superficial. And they probably want you to look and act a certain way as well. Gain five pounds? There's the door! Beware the gay who only cares about surface-level things. In gay dating, they will never get to know or appreciate the real you, or allow you to be yourself if you don't fit certain criteria. Who has the time and energy for all that?

Sassy Queen!

We all love that queeny friend who can read people for filth. They have snappy one-liners and always have an opinion to give. While it may be fun to watch, like a good Karen Walker line on Will & Grace, but dating a mean gay is not as fun. Trust us. Being around a meme machine can be tiring and they can very easily turn their mean streak on you. Most times, they are thinking of an even better way to cut someone down than they are on focusing on the real relationships around them. Is that the kind of energy you want to be around?

In the Closet

Oy. Unfortunately, this happens more often than you think. Even in our close circle of friends, there are two of our friends who are dating guys who are somewhat still in the closet with their family or coworkers. We don't begrudge anyone for taking their time to come out in a safe and healthy way when they see fit. BUT, these are not the best candidates when it comes to gay dating. You will never be the priority and you will be brushed to the side quickly when they have to put their "straight face" on. It's just not healthy for you and even if the D is good, it still isn't worth it to have to hide back in the closet. Healthy relationships are made to be out and proud. You also can't play therapist and help someone along their coming out process. That's too much to ask for or expect.

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Money Bags

First dates in gay dating are very telling. Is your date very concerned and inquisitive about your job? Your finances? Where do you like to vacation? Does your first date sound like he is a bank asking for loan application information? They may be looking for someone to take care of them financially. If that is their first attraction to you, run!

Politics

We won't dwell too much on this one, given what we have just gone through politically. But can you really be with someone who votes for anti-LGBTQ politicians? You won't have to worry about gay dating, you'll be too busy trying to hide your sexuality from your coworkers so you don't get fired!