Ask Chad Love & Dating: Un-horny, Slutty Besties, & Dating Duds

Ask Chad Love & Dating: Un-horny, Slutty Besties, & Dating Duds

Hello, Sexies! It’s almost Halloweenie! I am not sure if I am going to go as a slutty cop, a slutty nurse, a slutty vampire, or a slutty construction worker. Oh, the struggle is real. Literally my costume will be a pair of undies and a hat. LOL. I know, some of us gays just use the holiday to show off our bulge. Guilty! What are you wearing for Halloween?

Keep those dating, sex, and love questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

 My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 5 months and we still haven't had sex. We have played around once or twice, but overall it's me who doesn't really want to go further. Neither of us is new to this, but we just can't seem to move deeper. Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually attracted to him- which scares me because everything else about our relationship is A+.  We have discussed it briefly- and I have apologized for not 'being very sexual' and he has responded very nicely, although I know he wants it. I also wonder if the problem lies with me not being intimate with anyone for a long time, or if it's that I watch too much porn. Can you give me any advice on how to get myself into it more? Thanks so much.

Not in the Mood

Dear Not in the Mood,

Hmmm…usually the first five months of a new dating relationship are full of sex! But, it seems like are hitting a block. You are watching porn, so I’m assuming you are still getting horny, you’re just not horny for sex with your boyfriend. There is an issue with watching too much porn, it can desensitize you to real-life sex, and it also sets a false expectation as to what sex at home is really like. There is also a growing faction of us gays who identify as asexual, meaning you just don’t find sex with someone appealing. Your boyfriend is a champ though if he is sticking around now getting any dick or ass. LOL! If you have some doubt if you are really attracted to him, that could be an issue. You need to sit and think about what exactly it is about dating him that you love. It is possible you enjoy his companionship as more of a friend than a romance. Are you being honest with yourself? It also sounds like you have not had sex in a while. Do you have a fear of intimacy? Did something happen in a past relationship? I think this is true for every gay man, but I think you could benefit from a little therapy to get to the root of your intimacy issues. And yes, maybe cut down the porn and think of what makes you attracted to your boyfriend. Although he is not complaining, it has to upset him on some level that his boyfriend doesn’t want to fuck. Sex is an important part of any dating relationship, so I think it is definitely something you should address. Good luck!

_____

Hey Chad,

My friend is a slut. There, I said it. He doesn’t know what the term dating is, he just knows what sleeping around is. So he is dating this nice guy, the guy treats my bestie really well. But he has no clue that my friend is sleeping around. Practically every time my bestie and I go out, he ends up flirting with a guy and hooking up. I feel bad for the guy he is dating because he has no clue. I also don’t think it’s cool that my bestie could be putting this guy’s sexual health at risk, my friend doesn’t know what a condom is. It just really bugs me he isn’t being honest with his boo. Advice?

Baffled Bestie

Dear Baffled Bestie,

Gurlll, give your bestie my number! LOL. I love slutty gays! To be honest, you aren’t dating your bestie so it is really not your business. Yeah, him sleeping around on his guy is not cool but there’s really nothing you should get involved in. What you can do is tell your friend how you feel, but that’s more to get it off your chest, I doubt he’ll change his ways. As a certified slut myself, I can tell you, guys will always find out if you are sleeping around. It will come back to haunt you, gay karma is a bitch and word gets around. So just tell him your thoughts, but that’s it. It isn’t up to you to be the morality police for your friend.

_____

Dear Chad,

I am the worst at dating. I literally can’t get past a third date with anyone for the last couple of years. I think we have a good time, we hook up, but for some reason, after three times of hanging out, they just disappear. What is happening?

Dating Dud

Dear Dating Dud,

That really sucks! I can imagine how frustrating that must be. I really don’t have all the information here. I need to know what exactly the dates are and what is happening on time three that is making them run. Obviously, they are interested after dates one and two, so pinpoint what all of your third dates have in common. Are you having sex on the third date? Maybe you are just bad in bed. Kidding! I know some reasons I won’t continue dating a guy if he gets too clingy after just a few dates, if the dinner conversation is bad, if we don’t share common interests, and one time, because he was a loud chewer. Also, we are so afraid of communication in our community, what’s the issue with texting one of these guys and just asking what happened? Not to pressure them, but just honestly tell you where it went wrong. No harm, no foul. Also, ask your gay bestie what they think is the issue, most often, they have a good handle on how you come across to others. Don’t give up, there’s someone out there for everyone, you are just having a little bad luck.

Check out all my dating and relationship advice, it's a hoot!

Email me! [email protected]