Just Like Most Ladies, We Also Prefer a Bear in the Woods

May 7, 2024
HANK ORSO

Okay, all jokes aside about that intellectual exercise and its subsequent memes all over the internet, it is clear from yer boy Hank here's predilection for husky and hairy hunks that running into a bear in the woods would be a good time indeed. Mr. Man collected some of their favorite celeb Bears, then added to it with a few more tasty morsels when the talk of bears took off. So let's put this to rest. Guys, stop being creepy and treat women like people. Or you might run into one of these men in the woods and, well, yer gonna have a better time than you could imagine!

Click here to watch the unedited and full-frontal video clips of these hirsute hotties!

Daniel Franzese in Looking

He was a baby bear at the time when he became a bit of an icon and ubiquitous gif when he yelled out "She doesn't even go here!" in Mean Girls. But later a much more grown-up Franzese bared all with a hawt sex scene and long look at his long dong in the problematic but skintastic Looking.

Brad Roberge in Interior. Leather Bar.

Speaking of problematic films, James Franco's gay-bating tourist walk through our community was all kinds of wrong. But it did give us some interesting and daringly graphic gay sex in a mainstream film, including leather Bear Robarge (L in the pic above) full-out banging and cumming.

Chris Roberti in Same Boat

This list exposed me to several names I was previously unaware of. Rest assured I'll be hunting down sexy dad Roberti sometime soon to see his full-frontals!

Jack Black in The D Train

Of course, someone who's been on my radar for years is über funnyman Black who bares his beefy butt in this sweet comedic coming-of-age, gay realisation flick. Wait, Black gets banged by James Marsden? Yes, please!

Satya Dusaugey in Nude

Besides being full-frontal in a lot of this French TV series in which his police investigator character wakes up from a coma in 2026 to find that everyone goes naked, this French hottie seems to be naked in just about everything he appears in! Viva la France!

Serban Pavlu in I Do Not Care If We Go Down in History as Barbarians

Our hairiest Euro-hottie so far is Pavlu in this historical drama. Luckily they manage to work in a lot of his magnificently furry body and uncut schlong!

Winston Duke in Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

Duke is simply stunning with his thick bod spilling out over his mildly fetishy tribal gear in the great sequel to the great Black Panther. Forever, indeed!

Yaniv Sharon in Terror Firmer

With only a couple of low-budget but fun horror comedies under his belt, he seems to have decided he was going to get it all out there from the beginning. This chubby ginger cutie from Tel Aviv goes full-frontal almost through the entire film, and we ain't mad about it!

Zach Galifianakis in The Hangover

He's another funny bear who started as an "alternative comic" with frighteningly deadpan wit and a piano, adn went on to huge stardom, just as daring as ever when he bares his cute butt in this and other titles. He keeps us laughing and aroused!

Tyler Labine in A Good Old Fashioned Orgy

No, bears don't have to be covered in fur, and good lord is this man hawt! While I haven't seen this movie in which he apparently gets to kiss Jason Sudeikis, I first came across him in the wildly hilarious gross-out horror comedy Tucker and Dale VS. Evil where he plays a loveable country bumpkin looking sexy as hell in overalls, trying to figure out why he keeps getting blood-splattered.

David Harbour in Stranger Things

He's almost the sexiest man in TV and movies these days, showing some good dad bod in cop gear in the television juggernaut that is Stranger Things. He's also an awesome advocate for the gay community; I'm sure hooking up with Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain might have had something to do with that! (Yes, that was Harbour in that scene outside the town dance!)

Nick Offerman in The Last of Us

This is the sexiest man on TV and movies! He made us laugh as the calmly uptight Ron Swanson on Parks and Rec; he went blurred full frontal on Will and Grace; and he wrecked us emotionally when he cuddles up with Murray Bartlett in the third episode of The Last of Us. He might be a breeder Bear married to Meghan Mullaly, but he's also a staunch LGTBQ+ advocate willing to camp it up with the best of them. Check him out below one year's Film Independent's Spirit Awards appearing in his best Sam Smith garb alongside his adoring wife.