Ask Chad Love and Dating: Load Takers, Douchey Besties, & Prudish Peckers!

Ask Chad Love and Dating: Load Takers, Douchey Besties, & Prudish Peckers!

Hey all!!! Well another week has cum and gone, is is it summer yet? I’m ready for bulges in speedos and drinks by the pool. This cold season seems like it is taking forever to get through and while I appreciate a good sweatpant bulge, it’s time for more skin! Get a get a HEYMEN??? Your Chad was a bit naughty this week, truth be told. Gurrlll…just call me adDICKted. LOL.

Anywayyyy, keep those questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

I feel like I’m in over my head and I only have myself to blame. A few weeks ago, my boyfriend timidly expressed his fantasy of being “pimped out” by me to strangers at the local Eagle. Of course, I obliged, and I may have alerted a few of my buds to participate without telling my bf about it. That night, he got more than inebriated from all of the loads my buds and I pumped into him. In the following weeks, he started to act a bit distant. Eventually, while working out with one of my friends who was at the scene of the jizz-brimming crime, shared with me that my bf had made some of his own connections that night and has continued to take random loads, only this time under the guidance of some of my best workout buds. Soon enough, they all told me themselves one by one. I’m not upset with them, and I’m not upset with my bf. He’s just having fun after all. I guess I just feel left out but I am apprehensive to bring it up with my bf as I would then have to admit that I arranged the lineup to share his ass with my buds. I guess I’m between a rock and a hard place and would love to wriggle my way out and back into my bf’s stretched out hole. What to do?

Load Giver

Dear Load Giver,

Gurllll, you opened Pandora’s box! So first of all, that scene sounds hot, I’m jealous of your boyfriend. LOL. What I’ve learned about load takers in the scene you described is that they are addicted to getting loads whenever and wherever they can, and yes, you did stir the pot. He probably has had these desires for a while and you gave him the green light to explore. What I’ve also learned from load takers is that they are able to separate feelings from fucking pretty easily. I don’t think he is doing anything maliciously behind your back, but it is odd that he isn’t telling you himself. Maybe he’s embarrassed by how much he likes it? It sounds like you need to tell him your feelings and set some ground rules. You need to be honest with yourself and figure out if this is something you want him to continue doing for your own fantasy, knowing that it may lead to his getting it from other places as well. But honesty and open communication are important in any relationship. Just talk to him, preferably while he’s not taking loads. LOL. Time to go to the Eagle! Load taking is the new dating, lol!

_____

Hey Chad,

My bestie has had a great year. In the last six months, he’s gotten a new, high-level job, he bought a brand new BMW, and he’s been buying new clothes and jewelry. Here’s the thing, he’s getting pretty egotistical about it. Also, he acts like he’s so busy all the time with this new job, days will go by without seeing him or hearing from him, we used to talk like five times a day. He never seems interested in what’s going on in my life and when we hang out, he’s on his phone most of the time. He hasn’t come over to just watch TV like we used to do in a long time. I’m glad he’s doing so well, but he’s turning into a douche. What can I do?

Douchey Bestie  

Dear Douchey Bestie,

It sounds like your bestie is sowing his oats and living it up. Cut him a little slack, let him enjoy his moment and newfound success. Friendships ebb and blow, that’s the nature of relationships. Just give it some time, the allure of the new job and car will wear off, but it sounds like he’s earned it. If you guys are really close, you should be able to joke with him about his new ego and being too busy, see how he responds to that. But be a good friend, and be happy for him, and give him a little room to enjoy.

_____

Dear Chad,

I’m newly single, just got done with a five-year relationship and am back to the dating scene. I just rejoined the apps and have had terrible luck so far. I’m just not into hookups for the sake of hooking up. Everyone just seems obsessed with sex and no one is looking for a good, old-fashioned date. Am I being too prudish? Will I ever find love again?

Prudish Pecker

Dear Prudish Pecker,

Honey, they are called hookup apps for a reason…to hookup. While it is not out of the question, most gays are not finding love on Grindr. It sounds like you are looking for something more substantial. I hate to tell you, even the gays on Match.com are looking to hookup. LOL. Why don’t you try the old-fashioned approach? Get yourself out there to meet guys. Join a sports team, a hiking club, or something social to meet other guys. Even volunteering with local gay non-profits can yield some decent guys to meet. You aren’t going to find what you’re looking for on an app. That being said, don’t be so hard on yourself and enjoy being back in the dating world, you aren’t in a rush, let things happen and focus on yourself and what you want from life. You don’t need to rush into something new. Enjoy the single life. P.S. How good is our credit score? I can be very romantic when need be.