Ask Chad: Halloweenies, Blacking Out, & Family Photo Fails

Hey Girl Heyyyyy!

It’s Halloweenieeee time. I love this time of year when being a bitch is celebrated…I mean being a witch. Whatever, same thing. I can imagine how many Britney with knives costumes we are gonna see this season. What other looks you think will be in? I’ll do my usual. Playboy Bunny ears, a bow tie, and a black thong. Creative, I know. It gets the job – blow and hand – done.

Anywayyyy, keep those questions coming in, Sexies. It keeps me entertained to find out all of us bitches have the same crazy lives and sex trouble. As my Sniffies profile says, Nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

I went to a hookups house and in his room were family pictures all over the place. I don’t just mean a few on the wall, I mean ALL over. I’m assuming grandparents, siblings, even the family dog. But like they were arranged all around his bed and I kept feeling like they were looking at me. I couldn’t get hard and left. Am I crazy?

Thanks,

Family Matters

Dear Family Matters,

You’re asking the wrong person. I’ve always been a showoff, exhibitionism at its finest. Grams can watch if it gives her a thrill. LOL. Just joking! It does kind of take you out of the moment to have the family Christmas photo staring at you while you’re breeding their son. Next time, make a light joke of it and pull him into the kitchen, the bathroom, the garage, the patio, anywhere, and continue the night! Sex can happen literally anywhere. I’ve even done it at a funeral. No joke.

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Dear Chad,

My partner really gets into Halloween. LIKE MAJORLY. We’ve spent literally thousands of dollars over the years on Halloween decorations and he literally turns the front yard into a horror film set. It’s getting to be too much — what started off cute is literally becoming ridiculous. Not to mention, when it’s not Halloween there’s Halloween cr@p in all the closets and we literally have to park in our driveway because the garage is full of Halloween stuff. What can I do?

Thanks,

Halloween Scrooge

Dear Halloween Scrooge,

Sounds like Daddy needs to set some rules. As with anything, an unhealthy obsession can lead to relationship woes…unless it’s an obsession with blowjobs. Just say that this year, you think you should scale it back and maybe lend some of your decorations to local charities for their events or something. DID I JUST SUGGEST BEING KIND? Oy. It’s your house too, so be that power top that you pretend to be and put your foot down.

_____

Hi Chad,

My friend is continuously getting wasted to the point of blacking out and losing his phone over and over again. It usually takes up the end of the night having to take care of him and deal with his drama. Our friend circle is over him, but he’s been in our circle for years. Not cute as we get older. Advice?

Thanks,

Designated Driver

Dear Designated Driver,

It’s me you’re talking about, isn’t it? LOL. Gurrllll…we all have our messy nights but if it’s a regular thing now that’s not a cute look. Maybe he’s going on with something in his life that is making him reach for the bottle. Maybe ask him when he is sober but have the convo with him. Or set rules saying if he gets to a certain point of being messy, then you tell him he has to leave, and you can’t take responsibility for him. Tell him he won’t be invited out if he continues to act that way. Make him the designated driver for once and see how he does.

Got a question for me? Nothing is off-limits! Email me: [email protected]  Until next time!