Ask Chad: Doctor Sex, Friend Zone, and Sloppy Roommates

I don't know about y'all but this week kicked my ass. Now that I'm in between sugar daddies, I've had to get a real job. Hand...blow...all the jobs. Who knew that you couldn't be an hour late to work due to a last-minute hookup?

Keep those questions coming, I need something to do at work while I pretend to work while definitely ignoring my work. As my Sniffies profile says, Nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

I'm in love with my best friend but I don't know how to tell him. We've been friends for over 10 years, we've had sex countless times, but never been boyfriends. We're getting older and it's time to do this for real or move on. How do I tell him without ruining our friendship?

From, 

Friend Zone

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Dear FZ,

You've waited over ten years to get out of the friend zone? Girl, put on your big boy panties and get to it. If you are having sex, then he's into you on some level. If he is your best friend, then you already have that connection. Doesn't every cheezy relationship say that their partner is their best friend? (Barf.) Just joking, I'm just jealous because my ex-sugar daddy canceled all the credit cards. Anywhooo, you're friendship has lasted ten years, telling him you are in love with him shouldn't rock the boat too much. Might be awkward for a bit if he isn't into it, but it will all work out. And if he says no to your adoration—STOP HAVING SEX WITH HIM. Focus that energy somewhere else...like me if your credit score is high.

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Dear Chad,

My roommate is a total slob. It's like living with a frat boy. He brings guys over all the time. He never cleans up in the kitchen. His bathroom is a war zone. We got the lease together so no one has the right to ask anyone to leave. How do I make the best of this and get him to grow up and clean up?

From,

Fed Up

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Dear Fed Up,

You aren't his fucking mother. You sound fun (insert sarcasm here). Some people just aren't meant to live together. I'd say make up some basic house rules that represent BOTH of your lifestyles and if he can't get on board break the lease and move out. P.S. Next time he brings me over, I'll remember to flush this time.

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Dear Chad,

I'm having such hot amazing sex with my married chiropractor. We bang in his office and it's so hot. (He still charges me for my visit but whatever!) It felt like our little secret and it was so hot. So imagine my surprise when my friend tells me he's having sex with his chiropractor in his office and it's the same one!!! Do I confront my doc or just keep enjoying the d?

From,

Patient Zero

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Dear Patient Zero,

Your doctor is a slut, I need his business card. Girllll, keep riding that D. Did you think y'all were dating? The only thing I'd be angry at is having to pay that copay and the fact that he doesn't see multiple patients at a time. Group sessions, anyone?

Got a question for me? Nothing is off-limits! Email me: [email protected]  Until next time!