Grindr Fails: Discount Dates, Beyoncé, And Straight Allies

Let’s talk about Grindr! It’s an app that has become synonymous with the gay experience! We all perk up a little bit when we hear the iconic Grindr sound. I’m here to share with you some of the most awkwardly hilarious Grindr screenshots online. It’s time for another installment of Grindr Fails! This week, we’ve got a date night with a discount! Does it annoy you when gays randomly break out in song in a public restroom? And lastly, the straights are evolving! It’ll all make sense later! So start scrolling!

It’s all fun and games until the other guy comes out as straight! This exchange starts like any good romantic endeavor, with a simple “Hey”. Things are going smoothly until the guy in the blue decides to drop subtle hints that he’s straight. The guy in yellow was totally justified in asking why this “straight” man is even on Grindr. I need to know how he even found out about Grindr! I have so many questions! And he has the audacity to say he’s an ally! This is not allyship! Allyship is not voting for gross politicians who don’t believe in gay rights. Then this guy tries to ask the guy in the yellow chat what his position is! Sir, mind your business! Don’t you have straight man duties to attend to? Is there not a cargo shorts sale somewhere? Go away!

Oh goodness, this one triggered me a bit. First of all, who would ever message someone on Grindr from the next stall over?! That’s so weird! Just say you’re also at Walmart. Then the man in the yellow chat swears the guy in the blue is flirting with him. Until the man in the blue responds telling him to stop humming. I can only assume a Beyonce song was playing and Mr. Blue had had enough. That’s totally fair! I think people who randomly break out in song are some of the most annoying people on the planet. I hate everything about it. But I would never message someone on Grindr and ask them to shut up. That’s equally rude! I’ll just start a conversation so they’ll stop singing or humming. Or I’ll just walk away. Walking away always works.

Beware! We’re about to witness true romance! I repeat: we are about to witness true romance! Romance is not in fact dead! This conversation starts with the guy in the blue chat using his finest grammar to tell the other guy that he’s hot. The man in yellow appropriately says thank you, then things get interesting. The guy in the blue decides to ask him out on a date! He’s wasting no time at all! And he gets a discount at Panera! Someone marry this man! You’d get a lifetime of love and honey walnut spread! And the kitchen sink cookies! Now I’m hungry!

I hope you enjoyed these exchanges as much as I did!

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