Ask Chad: Homo Fomo, Popper Variety, And Open Relationship Obstructions

It's midsummer and the pool parties are in full swing! You'll have a hard time not finding me poolside with a cocktail in one hand and one without the tail in the other. I guess I found a free moment to pry myself from the function to answer your pressing questions. If you're gonna take any of my advice, it should be stream "Rush" by Troye Sivan or else you're a messy bottom!

This week, your questions got me feeling all types of way. Keep 'em coming! As my Sniffies profile says, Nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

My friends are party animals. They want to go out every weekend, and then it's a pool party, club, another club, uber, another club, no sleep, another club, then a Kiki and brunch after! I don't know if I can keep dedicating my weekends to this. I feel like my body is made of pure alcohol and other stuff at this point. How do I take a break without getting fomo? I don't want to miss out on the fun but I also don't know how to say no. Help!

Sincerely,

FOMOHOMO

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Hey FOMOHOMO,

Lol'ing at your name. Listennnnn, there's gonna be parties every weekend, as you've clearly stated. What doesn't party on is your health! Trust, I have to take breaks between the dicks, shots, and poppers too. Take a weekend break, turn off your phone, don't go on social media, settle into a big comforter with snacks and some weed and just chill. Find a good show to binge on one of the 78 streaming services I know you subscribe to, and just relax bitch. Those girls that never stop end up looking like $h*t after a few weeks of going hard, give your skin, liver, brain, and heart a break. Those are all affected by partying btw! So just chill and be confident in what you're doing, you don't have to do what everyone else is doing. Saying no is easy as "I have plans" even if those plans are no plans. If your friends don't respect that you need a break, then you need new friends. Period. Good luck, girl!
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Dear Chad,

This might come off as a silly question but what are the best poppers? Every time I go into the store that sells them, there are so many and I get overwhelmed. I can't tell the difference besides the label, and the bitchy gay behind the counter always rushes me to make a decision. So which ones are best and how do you know?

Sincerely,

PopperNoob

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Hey PopperNoob,

Honestly, I've been in many beds, clubs, and bars and tried more poppers than I can even remember. There seems to be a hierarchy in the community where the more mature crowd prefers Amsterdam and Old English whereas the younger crowd seems to prefer Double Scorpio and Jungle Juice. Currently on my nightstand is Jungle Juice Black Label, it opens me and my boyfriend's bussies with no issues! Very strong with no headache, hope that helps!

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Chad, 

My boyfriend and I are in an open relationship, with rules of course. He seems to use the privilege more than me, which is fine I don't mind. However, there are times when I start feeling like he's taking me for granted. Sometimes we're having a perfectly great time and then he leaves me to go hookup with someone else, and then I'm left alone. I could obvi go find someone to have fun with too, but I want to have fun with him! We do have sex at least a couple times a week, but he definitely is having sex 4 or 5 more times a week with others as well. What do I say to him to get him to realize that he's neglecting his boyfriend for randoms? We started this to give each other freedom, now it feels like he'd prefer to be free from me. 

Sincerely,

LastStraw

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Hey girl,

This is a major conversation you need to have with your boyfriend. Part of being in an open relationship, as I hope you already know, is communication. Having your cake and eating it too means that you have to make sure everyone in the party is okay with how you're splitting the cake. It sounds like he's taking a lot and not giving enough, leaving you unsatisfied. And girl, that's only gonna end in flames. You need to talk to him about how you're feeling, he may not even know, men are sometimes completely oblivious. Tell him that he needs to focus more on his boyfriend and less on people who are just a hole to him, or else he'll lose the one he has at home. Also, tell him that if he's at a party with you, that he's with you! Leaving you at a function is loser $h*t. Hope this helps!

Got a question for me? Nothing is off-limits! Email me: [email protected]. Until next time!