Grindr Fails: Furniture Fun, Kink Doms, and Mean Tops

Hi friends! Good morning and welcome to another installment of Grindr Fails! This is where I share some of the most hilarious and outrageous Grindr conversations! This week is a wild one! We’ve got an alleged autocorrect nightmare! Someone accidentally made a death threat to another user! And we’re clocking the most disrespectful thing you can say to a person you’re hoping will bottom for you! The gays are unhinged! And I have nothing but time for it!

The person in blue needed to be humbled. And the person in the yellow chat was ready to do just that. The way that some men speak to people they’re pursuing sexually is absolutely wild to me. Starting the conversation by referring to the other person as a hole is not the vibe at all! Does this work on people? Is anyone dumb enough to validate this kind of behavior? Actually, don’t answer that. It’s not even funny or cheeky. It's not flirty or fun at all! Someone is literally allowing you to put part of your body inside of them, and this is how you act? This person is going to go through the trouble of power washing their colon, and you have the audacity to refer to them as a hole. I hope this man has the day he deserves.

Okay, someone explain to me how this could have happened. Maybe the guy in blue had the chat open and was accidentally dictating. Meaning he was saying this out loud and his phone was typing it. If that’s the case, I need to know the context of that first message. I shouldn’t judge though. That’s how I greet many of my closest friends. But then the guy in yellow says “That’s cool man”. Like the other guy didn’t just say he wanted to smother someone with a pillow and watch them die. But then the guy in blue needs help to relax! I need a part two! Has anyone checked in on the person in the yellow!? Is he okay? Blink twice if you need help!

This to me sounds like a mid-day conversation. An afternoon delight, if you will. There’s something really nice about an afternoon delight, or even a morning delight. I find that it puts me in such a good mood for the rest of the day. Suddenly I find myself cleaning my home and making dinner for no reason at all. In the midst of the mid-day hunt for dick, the guy in blue asks what the other person is looking for. They respond that they’re looking for furniture! Sweetie, I think we’re all on Grindr looking for a place to sit. No need to blame autocorrect!

I hope you enjoyed these exchanges as much as I did! Be sure to follow the accounts featured on Instagram and DM me any fierce Grindr screenshots you think should be featured next!

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