Chad Talks: Gym Etiquette

May 21, 2023
CHAD

Hi gays, gals, and ghouls, I have another PSA for all of you sluts! When you’re at the gym, there are a few things you should know to make sure you’re not being an asshole. I know it’s already an uncomfortable place for some and for others, they treat it like it’s their own house. No matter where you are in your fitness journey, I’m gonna give you some tips to help yourself and those around you. If you find yourself saying “Oh fuck, that’s me” then you should probably clean it up, coke whore! And keep in mind, these aren’t meant to put you down, but to lift you up to how normal people should act. Let’s get started.

The first point I need to make is obvious, rack your fucking weights! Dumbbells, barbells, and plates go back to where they belong, no excuses! If you don’t put equipment back where it belongs, then you’re a dirty bitch and no one loves you. Do the right thing and don’t make life harder for the staff and other people who pay to be there! Not to mention, when you’re done with your gross energy drink it goes in the trash, not next to the machine you were on. In general, be tidy, and don’t be a slob.

Next, I have to say please get off your phone and actually use the equipment you’re sitting on. If I can do 4 sets while you’re still on your rest, you’re a lazy bitch and you’re most likely hogging something people need. So either get off your phone or get off the equipment, K? This one makes me violent and I will condescendingly ask how many sets you have while I stare at you. Some of us are actually trying to have a good workout and don’t want to wait on your lazy ass to finish scrolling Instagram.

I can’t write this piece without mentioning the people who cluster multiple sets of weights around one bench. It’s usually someone who isn’t very advanced and wants to get them before they’re taken. That’s not how this works. You use ONE SET of dumbbells at a time. When you’re done with that one, you trade them out. Having 4 sets around your bench literally makes you look ridiculous and other people need to use the ones that are just sitting there while you stare at yourself in the mirror. Just be reasonable, you don’t need all of those and you know it!

This last one is going to pain me to write, being the camera slut I am, but you’re not important enough to bring a tripod and professional camera to a commercial gym. It gets in the way and makes everyone around you uncomfortable, mostly with the fact that you think you’re a celebrity! If I hacked and deleted your Instagram, boom there goes your modeling “career”. Just be respectful and take your pictures and videos AWAY from where everyone is trying to work. Hope all this helps you be less unbearable at the gym! Anyways, I think it’s time for me to go cruise in the steam room. Bye, skanks!

Got a question for me? Nothing is off-limits! Email me: [email protected] to get my advice.