AJ Sloan Goes to Island House Key West, Where The Drinks Aren’t the Only Things That Are Stiff

April 25, 2023
AJ SLOAN

AJ Sloan Shares His Adventures at Island House Key West

We all need a proper dose of Vitamin D on occasion and, no matter your interpretation of that comment, The Island House Key West has got your back, your front, and everything in between. This past week, I was lucky enough to be invited down to this clothing-optional gay oasis in the nation's southernmost city to help host their infamous naked pool party. Although the party was without a doubt the climax of the trip, I had a blast (well, several) from beginning to end.

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Upon arrival, my comrade in crime and Fleshbot X Cybersocket director Alexander and I were given a tour of the Island House. Holy f*ck guys, this place was like Willy Wonka's Factory if the chocolate was swapped out for mojitos and dick and the Oompa Loompas were all Argentinian Abercrombie models with way less cologne and a whole lot more sex appeal. The tour took us through the spa, which was equipped with wet and dry saunas, an indoor hot tub, and a communal shower room. From there, we were walked through the upstairs playpen also known as the Red Room, with all sorts of adult videos playing, including a few screens devoted to yours truly. We then went down the back steps to the outdoor jacuzzi, showers, and of course the pool with its poolside café and bar. For some reason, almost all of the guests in the suites that we passed kept their curtains open. It didn't take too long before we understood why. Boys will be boys!

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We quickly discovered that the city's cluster of gay bars was a short walk away from the Island House Key West (or in Alexander's chosen experience, a five-dollar Uber). Bourbon Street Pub is a great spot to visit day or night. With its clothing-optional (I'm sensing a theme) dress code, its jockstrap-adorned bar staff, and the occasional rooster roaming through, this place serves all kinds of cock as well as hard seltzers (and to whoever is the owner of that phone that the bartender and I took dozens of selfies and dick pics on, you're welcome). If furry men in leather are more your vibe, One Saloon may be more your speed. And whoever was in charge of that dank playlist the night we were there, I owe you head.

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As fun as all of Key West's gay scene was, however, I must admit that we didn't leave the Island House more than once or twice, and for good reason. Every morning I spent rotating between the pool, the spa, and the café. Between the sweet and sexy international staff and the menu of man-meat that made up the rest of the guests, I was in great company at any hour of the day. It was without a doubt the best bar on the island, and their happy hour special was, well, free (for hotel guests that is). All of that and I didn't need to check any luggage for the flight.

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And then there are their pool parties... I've never been to Southern Decadence but the vibe was def channeling Southern hospitality meets queer house party. The Island House Pool Boys had sexy vibes and the shots were going around like there was no tomorrow. Inhibitions were set at a record low for the season. The music was bumping, the drinks were flowing, and there was barely a stitch of clothing as far as the eye can see. With a party full of libidos and dick, one could only imagine what kind of live demonstrations were afoot. Curious? You'll have to make your own reservation and see for yourself firsthand...

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Now I'm back in Los Angeles at work and in classes, but at least I have a tan. Thank you to the entire staff of the Island House Key West and to all of the queens and my queer family that I met while I was down there. You have restored my faith in the state of Florida, which is saying a lot/the most. I can't wait to visit you gays again!