Jack Andy Killing Construct Vol 8: The Power of Gay PDA

December 24, 2022
JACK ANDY

I have been told recently, I’m very publicly affectionate with my boyfriend. I really can’t help it, the behavior comes so naturally to me when I’m into someone that sometimes no matter where we are I can’t help but let them know physically. Now I don’t go crazy; it's just mainly kisses, hand holding, leaning, hugs, and an occasional booty grab, unless I’m being sly and I know nobody is watching. Harmless stuff really. He’s pointed out quite a bit that he’s not used to the attention but in Brazil, where he grew up it was everywhere; but even more unsettling he tells me that this country has trained him not to be.

Shame on us.

Photo courtesy of Raging Stallion

We need to remember one thing: the whole reason we’ve come as far as we have in this country is because we refused to hide our affection publicly. Plain and simple. Your prides literally exist in the face of America so that for a whole month they know we are here, alive and well, and gay. And guess what? In opposition of your pride, they still continue to picket, and hold their praise Jesus signs and they rally. Not just there. They all go to Chick-fil-A and church on Sunday, and they give those institutions all their money to keep senators in their seats to yank your rights away. They will not rest until you are gone. They want you out of their sight and the first thing they will do is make you feel unsafe, or dirty, for showing your affection.

I know we’d all like to think that we ourselves are complicit with the idea of not “going too crazy” in public but I know we aren’t. Gays did not self regulate out of appropriation and I feel the ones that did should mind their own business. Most of us live for the idea of being inappropriate. I know we do because I’ve seen y'all out once or twice in the darkrooms. Where you can keep it all hidden but still be freaks. So what happened to a little hand holding or a kiss? These actions are harmless and the privilege of doing them by our straight friends is used constantly. They have never once had to think that if they were caught kissing in the wrong part of town they may be lynched. They also don’t think if they see another straight couple kissing that they have to cover their child’s eyes. You did not put yourself in this repressed place, heterosexuals put you back in it using fear and shame. Their unconscious bias will see your way of life as disgusting and inappropriate forever unless we continue to shove it in their face as badly as they do it to us.

Our public displays of affection are our acts of revolution.

Photo courtesy of Raging Stallion

I have not worried about what people with think when they see me, or what straight people will think because I shouldn’t have to, and when I get confronted about regulating my gay behavior I am offended. No matter who asks for the regulation because showing love isn’t disgusting and if you think it is don’t look. I will do it anyway. When I show harmless displays of affection to my partner it doesn't require anyone’s visual consent. The simple fact is you waive your consent to the public actions of other people that don't affect you the moment you walk out your door.

The solution here is daring to be brave.

Photo courtesy of Raging Stallion

I do think one day I will be affectionate in the wrong place, I will shoot my mouth off, and I will get beat up—and I don’t care. I’d gladly take one for our team or even better yet maybe even get the opportunity to take out a gay basher. That’s the risk I run for being gay but that's the one thing they can’t take away from me, whether or not it is illegal to be me. The only thing I can think of that is more dreadful is knowing I didn’t kiss my partner or hold his hand every opportunity I got in this waking life. I would hate to be on a deathbed and think I wish I’d shown him how much he meant to me everywhere everyday, and that’s what PDA is: our love for one another that can’t be contained.

So stop repressing the love you have to show. You will not regret it in the end.