Pietro Boselli Shocks The World With Latest Fashion Decision

August 11, 2020
HIS_EXCELLENCY

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A post shared by Pietro Boselli (@pietroboselli) on Aug 10, 2020 at 12:58pm PDT

Pietro Boselli is keeping fashion insiders on their toes with his latest bold decision. He stepped out on some dunes in Italy wearing the ugliest shorts in the history of the world! He said "Hi Kohl's Urban Pipeline collection." And I obviously live.

Cargo shorts of this size and magnitude are usually worn in two places: Middle school classrooms and trump rallies. So it's a hoot and frankly a hollar to see them on an Italian supermodel. Pietro is swerving cargo shorts realness paired with an open shirt that flaunts his sexy rippling abs. In at least one of the pictures Pietro even lives up to the Cargo Shorts Dirtbag Code Of Conduct by stomping all over the fragile dunes! He said "Hi erosion." And I truly live.

Obviously this is only news because Pietro usually makes vastly better fashion decisions. Well, one decision in particular - he usually wears XS Speedos. So I'll try to rinse the image of Pietro Boselli in cargo shorts from your brain with some pics of him filling the living daylights out of his tried and true Speedos. He said "Hi penis and testicles."