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10 Big Celebrity Cocks To Help Pass The Time In Self-Quarantine

EDITORIAL FEATURES

Depending on where you live, you might have COVID-19 on the brain, which would be totally justifiable, because it's lowkey fucking intense? People in American haven't fully agreed on the seriousness of the virus - White House officials say it's NBD, scientists with degrees in science say it's a BFD - so no one really knows what's overreacting and what's underreacting. Well I Rachel McAdams am here to save the fucking day again. JK I'm not. But for anyone self-quarantined or anyone forced to go to work and looking for a way to fuck over their employer by not doing work, here are ten random big celebrity and celebrityesque penises to check out! Hey, it's all I could think of during a pandemic okay?

TBH I know that we're all nubile and resilient twenty-two-year-olds (ugh I can't wait to rent a car someday!) and won't be greatly affected by the Coronavirus, but I still want every one of you to stay healthy and to put your safety first throughout this whole shizshow. And while you do that... penises...

Tom Mercier in Synonyms

I still see this when I close my eyes.

Liam Neeson in Under Suspicion 

The fact that Liam's best frontal scene is so dark and distant truh-ly sucks, but we can still tell from this shot that he's hanging one of the most serious dongs in Hollywood.

 

John Espizedo in Erotic Secrets

Heller John.

 

Martin McCann in The Survivalist

TBH this could have just been a list of Irish actors.

Greg McKeon in Vampire Boys

Why do I need Greg to be mine?

 

Tor Erik Bøe in Anti Reproductive Mating Ritual

I've shoved this one down your throats enough, haven't I?

 

Thaddeus Rahming in Hall Pass

Ga ga ga gulp.

 

Michael Fassbender in Shame

#Irish

 

Louis Hofmann in The White Crow

Repping all the hung twinks out there.

 

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II in Watchmen

Do we like dis dick? Um, yahya...


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