“Streak, Streak, Streak!” K.J. Apa And Cole Sprouse Went Streaking On Riverdale

Bromo's foray into softcore CW fare is chugging right along as, in the most recent episode of teen sex party series Riverdale, our favorite quarter-Samoan faux-ginger creamboat K.J. Apa and that twin Cole Sprouse strip down to go streaking at the frantic thirsty pleading of their guy pals in the locker room! At the point when you have an entire football team pressuring two fuck pieces to flash their fat flopping cocks, you just know, in your heart, that you're watching gay porn.

So how did we get here? It's confusing for those of us who don't watch Riverdale, but Vanity Fair has some answers about last night's streaking episode, The Midnight Club. Apparently the boys were playing their fathers, and apparently their fathers were into gay hazing:

Each of the show’s main cast members spends the episode playing his or her character’s own father or mother in an extended flashback sequence.

So, not only was Apa naked, but he was Luke Perry naked too? Like two dicks in one? like a dick turducken? I love this direction! Of course, as the show is on the CW, we don't actually get to see the promised land, but the camera gets pretty damn low on Apa's nude body during the streaking scene, to the point that you start to wonder if he was just wearing a cock sock. Then you start to picture if flopping all over the damn place. Then you start to picture it slapping your face. Then you start to picture choking to death on it. Then... Damn. I gotta stop myself. You give a gay a cookie!

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