Breaking: Thomas Roberts Still Shirtless

Fans of humpy former CNN anchor Thomas Roberts who were saddened over the news of his departure from the network in May were able to assuage their grief via a tasty shirtless vacation pic that surfaced online a couple of weeks ago. But we weren't aware exactly how much of an impact that photo made until we started perusing a thread about it on Datalounge, which has grown to five pages over the last couple of weeks and is full of penetrating commentary like "He doesn't have a boyish face. He has a grown man's face. Which, to me, makes his hairless body look odd." and "Those nipples are very small. Only way to improve them is by constant chewing and suckling." Then again, considering how much time we've spent mentally undressing him ourselves while pretending to listen to whatever he had to say about the news, maybe that level of obsessiveness isn't so surprising after all.

· "Massive Photo of Homosexualist Thomas Roberts Shirtless" (datalounge.com; non-subscriber bandwidth restrictions during "primetime" hours)