How Come Our Fleet Week Never Looks Like This?

"Sex and the City" made us think that Fleet Week is always a bacchanal with horny sailors looking for blowjobs (the way it did with many things about Manhattan, actually). Alas, it couldn't be farther from the truth.

Thanks to photo shoots and porn movies, we always thought that this annual event in New York, when a number of large vessels ejaculate all their seamen all over Manhattan, would be like this super hot vacation from reality where hot guys in uniform are propositioning us on every corner to act out scenes from "Querelle". No, Fleet Week is actually kind of boring.

We live in the part of town where lots of the sailors hang out when on leave, and most of them are not very attractive, and practically none of them are gay. Well, at least they're not fucking us, and if they don't want to fuck us, then they must be straight, cause we're fucking sexy. We saw a photo gallery in Time Out New York that actually captures the reality of the situation: a bunch of average looking guys bumming around Midtown and not having sex.

So, before you go and book your ticket to New York next year, just go and watch Falcon's "Fleet Week" instead. It might be a total fantasy, but at least you'll get to see some action!

· "Fleet Week" (falconstudios.com)