Tasteful Friends, Let’s Probe Every Long Inch of Patrick O’Brien

Patrick O'Brien is no newbie to porn, having done mainly solo work. Plus, he's English! Consider him our homage to the Royal Wedding. He's a beaut, and deserves to be scrutinized from every naked angle by our expert artistic eye. Let's flip through the gallery for a deep probing examination of this living sculpture. Right-o!

(To view full images, and his heavenly peen, click "expand" in the lower right hand corner of the image.)

· Patrick O'Brien (randyblue.com)

The Body: The only thing that would of looked better than Kate Middleton in her wedding dress is Patrick parading this ripping, ripped body through Westminster Abbey. We actually would have tuned in.
The Abs: This torso is quite lovvly-jubbly. Surely if the Queen rubbed her hand over it, she'd immediately knight it (and alight on it). Well, the queen called yours truly would have.
The Profile: As Patrick turns to look at us, an involuntary gasp escapes our lips. The silhouette curve from the side of the face, over the peak of the pec, down the ridges of the abs, to the explosion of bush, down to the the think curve of the penis. He's a Da Vinci sketch brought to life.
The Butt: Looking at his reminds us of when we strolled through the Louvre and involuntarily broke down in tears from the majesty of all the artwork. If this were in front of us, the tears of happiness would be happily flowing as freely as the Thames.
The Erection: This marvelous piece of marble would be perfectly framed by a glory hole. It would get hours of appreciation by the "artistic type."
The Close Up: Like all cinema artistes, he's ready for his close-up. Cinema, the most modern of art, is often about fantasies and love. Perhaps when Kate looks upon Prince William on their first honeymoon evening, this is the fantasy she sees. That's bloody brilliant!