The Bare Butts and Cocks of Off-Broadway’s “Naked Boys Singing!” Go Bye-Bye

Oh, sad day for Manhattan's theatre queens! The second longest running Off-Broadway musical in history, "Naked Boys Singing!," will close on January 28th. Yes, that's only four more weeks to catch the musical revue that features the only place in New York City where you can legally see live, full frontal, gratuitous male nudity. What will horny old men and Jersey Bachelorette Parties do now?!?!

Have you seen the show? It's awful. The movie version is worse. Yet, it's been running for 12 (*ahem*) straight years in New York, and become an international sensation, making major royalty bank for its team of writers (which includes Bruce Vilanch). The only Broadway show to run longer is "The Fantasticks."

So, what makes a show that includes such dippy songs as "The Naked Maid," "Perky Little Porn Star" and "The Bliss of a Bris" so enduring and popular? Honey, you know why. We all want to see cute naked boys doing anything, even prancing about stage in a forgettable revue that's so sexually neutered the guys' dicks start vanishing like a Ken doll's.

The Off-Broadway production started getting kinda' sad. When we saw it four years ago (since we were offered free tickets, so, why not?), the house was empty expect for a smattering of very elderly, leering men in the front row. Even the bachelorlettes didn't show up that day. Yet, the talented actors gave it their all, wagging their dicks around to pay the rent. The young gays who got a kick out of it back the early 2000s have long since deserted it.

So, R.I.P. to Off-Broadway's "Naked Boys Singing!" It had a long, healthy life. And for all you queens still curious about a group of nude hot hunks shimmying to showtunes onstage, get your tickets here.

· Naked Boys Singing! Will End Off-Broadway Run (playbill.com)