Grindr Fails: Sad Bottoms, Kissing Cousins, & ...Wicked?
Hey, hey, hey! It's another edition of Grindr Fails! Cue the thunderous applause. A New Year, a new me has gotten most of gays back in the gym or doing some type of fitness routine. That means libidos are up and guys are on the prowl! How has your Grindr been acting lately? Ours has been blowing up! And with all that activity, there's bound to be your handful (or more than a handful) of weirdos and crazies out there. We love it. Here are our favorite hookup app fail messages of the week!
Why is talking to someone on Grindr almost like interrogating a suspect in custody? How hard is it to get a straight answer? (We used "hard" and "straight" in that sentence, did you catch it? Tee hee.) The magic of sexting can miraculously turn a top into a bottom! This guy must be packing some good "D" if he is willing to convince this top to bend over.
Why is it always that one couple that wants to hookup and not the hot ones? Sigh. The power of LASIK is going to make us give a hard pass to this Grindr gay.
How do you say you're a bottom without saying you're a bottom? Prove you're a fashionista in one message! Grindr fashion advice usually only comes from power bottoms with some sass and ass. Two bottoms don't make a right, but they could make an amazing outfit! P.S. 5:50 am? Gurllll...
We have a Grindr unicorn! A guy looking for love who believes in monogamy! Rare indeed. It is all in the wording - boyfriend, husband, it's all the same. We love the bottom's sign-off line.
Leave it to Grindr to put the fun in funeral. Nothing gives an affirmation of life like a good hookup session!
Coming off of the holiday season, we've all had our time with our family. But this is pushing the envelope. Kissing cousins?
On Grindr, we don't use that "B" word. No, we aren't talking about "bitch," apparently we are talking about the word "babe." That'll do pig, that'll do.
Um, we know how you get pink eye you filthy animal! (Call us!)
Long live OREO! Meow! Now give us your pussy.
We love a good musical theatre reference. And Wicked really does sum up this next message exchange. Let's hope there's a Doctor of Oz!
Check out all of our Grindr Fails, they are a hoot!
Send us your Grindr Fails, they may show up in our column! Yassss!
Questions? Comments? Email us at [email protected]
Follow us on Twitter and Instagram.