Ask Chad Dating & Sex: Besties, Horny Neighbors, Quick Tops

Ask Chad Love, Dating, & Sex: Borrowing Besties, Horny Neighbors, Quick Cummers

Is it too early to start celebrating Halloween? Asking for a friend. A sexy friend who is actually me. Does it excite anyone else to start seeing Halloween stuff in the stores? I love the spooky season and all of the Halloween party sex you can have. LOL. Let’s face it, most of us wear the bare minimum for the holiday. Sexy doctor costume? Got it, a stethoscope and a speedo. Done.

Keep those questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

My gay bestie owes me money. Like a $1000. He borrowed it about a year ago and hasn’t been able to pay anything back since because of our terrible economy. I get it, but he’s also going out every weekend and spending money on drinks and guys he’s dating. I’m ok with money, not flush, but I can pay my bills and have some extra. He was about to lose his apartment, which is why I chipped in. He’s my bestie so it shouldn’t be a big deal, I haven’t brought it up, and he hasn’t addressed it either. It just bugs me.

Borrowing Bestie

Dear Borrowing Bestie,

Oy. Let me shout this from the rooftops. Money and friendships don’t mix. They never have and they never will. Whenever I lend a friend money (although I too love borrowing money for trips to Nordstroms), you have to just put it in your mind that you are saying goodbye to that money forever. It is rare that a friend will actually pay you back. You can also guarantee any discussion about said lent money will make things awkward. You probably saved him through a rough patch and you’ve done your part. If he asks you again for money just tell him you can’t. As far as him going out every weekend, he probably needs it to let off some steam and enjoy some part of life. If it really really bugs you and it’s worth you rocking the boat in terms of being a bestie, offer him a super low repayment plan. Even $50 a week is a move in the right direction. At least if you lend a guy you are dating some money, you can get it back in great sex.

_____

Hey Chad,

I’ve been having sex with one of my neighbors. He’s super hot and it is very convenient for some of those horny nights. But as a neighbor, he is terrible. He plays his music (mostly Ariana Grande and Gaga) constantly with the bass way up and it rattles the complex. He has parties till late at night making tons of noise. He leaves his garbage bags all over the front of our units because he is too lazy to carry them to the trash bins. He parks in other people’s spots if he can’t find street parking (he’s parked in my reserved space a few times). I can’t stand it and our other neighbors want him out. I feel like a hypocrite being part of conversations that are trying to get him reported to the landlord but then still having consistent hot sex with him. What’s a gay to do?

Horny Neighbor

Dear Horny Neighbor,

What a conundrum! Having great sex at your fingertips whenever you want? Yes, please! While that takes care of one part of your life, you also need to maintain your mental health and peace in your safe space, your home. Having an annoying neighbor is among the worst and it plays on your mind every day. Guys are a dime a dozen and you can get sex from anyone else, they may just take a few more minutes to get there. Even jokingly tell him the other neighbors are annoyed and see how he responds. He may be oblivious. You can also joke that you won’t give him any more blowjobs until he throws out his trash. If he is a jerk, he won’t change his ways and get that cute bubble butt evicted and tell your sexy friends there’s a new place on the market.

_____

Dear Chad,

I cum fast. Like literally just so quickly. In the last year, I have upped my porn-watching and jerkoff session to about four per day. LOL, is that too much? My concern is that I’m training my dick to cum fast because my solo sessions are quick to fit into my schedule. But when I’m having sex with a guy, I can only last a few minutes until I blow my wad. It’s embarrassing. Also, I need time to recharge so I can’t keep going. What should I do?

Quick Cummer

Dear Quick Cummer,

I’ll be honest with you. There’s nothing quite as disappointing as starving yourself all day, cleaning out till you are showroom new, just to bend over and have your top finish having sex after three pumps. Um, no thank you. If your body is getting used to cumming fast because of your porn-watching, change that approach and practice your edging and making yourself last longer. Just don’t get to the finish line. There are also delay creams that work for some gays. If you know you are going on a date, cum a couple of hours before so that you will last longer. But practice solo style on knowing when you are reaching climax and how to pull back. And maybe four times a day is excessive if you are just trying to get to the orgasm. Plan for longer jerk-off sessions and focus on your rhythm and on backing off when you are about to cum. Practice makes perfect. Also, if you do cum fast in the bedroom, make sure your partner still gets off. That will help the situation. Just because you are done, doesn’t mean we are!

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