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Gay Kinks Explained: Cuckolding

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Gay Kinks Explained, Fleshbot's Gay Dictionary graphic

Gay Kinks Explained: Cuckolding

Basically put, cuckolding is the kink where a partnered guy enjoys watching their significant other have sex with someone else. Voyeurism at its kinkiest. It can be considered a form of BDSM because of the power play - domination and submission - themes but without the whips and pain elements. The term actually started out to describe a man who has been cheated on by his wife, but now the term has expanded to so much more and it comes from a place of consent among all involved.

Cuckolding has become very popular and is not just prevalent in the gay community. BedBible.com has reported that an estimated 6.25 million US couples engage in the act, with 6 out of 10 men fantasizing about it. Porn website searches for the kink have increased by 57%. Why the increase in popularity? We are in a very free sexual time. With more people coming out as LGBTQ and with increased awareness of pansexuality and bisexuality, couples are feeling very open to exploring. Monogamy is now considered an older ideal in the gay community. We love having sex and cuckolding offers a safer way to explore different bodies and scenarios rather than having a threesome or just an arbitrarily open relationship. There's control here, and the voyeur partner knows exactly what is going on since they are watching the whole thing.

 

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Cuckolding also has become popular within the gay community with partners that identify as the same sexual position. Two tops can only do so much in the bedroom before it gets old. There's also the turn-on in seeing your partner with a variety of different guys, especially if they are different from you in terms of body type, dick size, age, or ethnicity. It's like arranging your own porn shoot and your partner is the star.

There are dangers in getting into the art of cuckolding. Again, according to Bedbible.com, 5 out of 10 active cuckold couples aged 18-29 end in a breakup. There is the power play that includes forms of jealousy. Watching your partner with someone else can make you jealous and really build up your sex drive to dominate your partner the next time its just you in the bedroom, that is part of the allure. But that can also backfire and turn that jealousy into a problematic issue. The humiliation aspect that is meant to increase eroticism by the voyeur feeling subordinate by knowing their partner is "cheating" on them can also backfire and really make the watcher feel uncomfortable or lesser in the bedroom.

Opening up your relationship this way can lead to increased communication and intimacy. But it really is all about communication. Some guys are into it, and some or not. Some couples can become addicted to it, some couples can be totally turned off after a cuckold session. It is a hot scenario in theory, much like threesomes, but it isn't for everyone and you can open up a can of worms. Make sure you debrief after a hot voyeur session, see how you and your partner reacted to it, what are the next steps, what worked - what didn't work. Some couples have rules like no kissing, etc. Make sure those rules are established before and honored.

 

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There is a fun aspect if you ever find yourself the bull. The bull is the third party that is brought in that has no relationship ties to the couple. You get a fun session of casual sex, and many guys love being watched and the attention being on them. Showing off your bedroom skills can be hot.

Cuckolding can start slow if you are nervous. You can listen to your partner talk about sex with someone else on the phone or online, on a hookup app. You can also watch them flirt at the club or cruise a sex club and see how that goes before opening up your bedroom.

So the question remains, to cuck or not to cuck? That is the question.

Have you tried cuckolding? Let us know!

Questions? Comments? Email us at [email protected]
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