Ask Chad Love and Dating: Sleepovers, Mama’s Boys, and Party Poopers!

Sleepovers, Mama’s Boys, and Party Poopers!

Hi, Sexies! How was everyone’s week? Something is certainly in the air, maybe it’s the anticipation for the solar eclipse, but this week y’all have been horny! The apps have been blowing up, the guys at the club are definitely looking, and based on our questions, lust is in the air! Unfortunately, I’ve had family visiting so I’ve had to turn down many a hookup proposal. Gurlll…talk about blue balls! When I get my place back to myself, watch out!

Anywayyyy, keep those questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year. At first, we would take turns staying the night at each other’s places. For the past two months, he stopped coming over, so now I am the one who has been having to travel and pack up my stuff for the night. His place is bigger, he has a nice TV set up and kitchen, and so he says it's more comfortable for us both than my tiny apartment. But it’s a major pain to have to be the one to pack up my stuff for work the next day, and his place is far enough from my work that it adds about a half hour to the drive. I’m getting tired of always being the one to have to travel. What should I do?

The Traveling Boyfriend

Dear Traveling Boyfriend,

Tell your boyfriend I’ll come over since I can’t host at the moment. LOL. Any relationship is about some sort of compromise. It doesn’t sound like he’s doing any of that and you’ve been letting it go on for a couple of months now – both of you are at fault. You need to tell him how you feel and make some agreements about splitting the hosting duties. He gets your creampie and doesn’t have to leave his house. He needs to be willing to meet you halfway and take some turns at your place, even if his place is better. If he isn’t willing to do that, then maybe you have bigger issues. Also, have you had the convo about moving in together? It’s been almost a year, if you were a lesbian you’d already be moved in. But don’t be the pussy and let him dictate all the visitation rules. Be a power top! If he doesn’t want to come over, then you stay home and let him jerk off alone.

_____

Hey Chad,

I’ve started dating this guy I really like. We get along really well and he’s super hot. He’s a freelance writer so he gets to work from home and sets his own schedule. Here’s the only drawback…he likes to go out to the clubs every time we hang out. Doesn’t matter if it’s a Wednesday or the weekend, we go to the clubs. He dances the night away and drinks a lot. Every night we go out it’s a party hard time. He has a lot of friends that go out, so we usually end up with his group and they go out all the time as well. I’m starting to get bored of the party scene, I’ve had many hangover mornings at work, and it seems like he doesn’t want to do anything else. I do like hitting up the clubs, but not every night. I feel like our relationship isn’t growing because all we do is dance, drink, and pass out. Any advice?

Party Pooper

Dear Party Pooper,

Well, it sounds like you’ve got yourself a little party animal! Here’s the thing, you guys aren’t growing your relationship because you aren’t really doing anything just the two of you that is building a bond. You can’t have a meaningful conversation with Gaga blasting through your ears or a bartender spilling a drink on you. It sounds like he just wants a party companion and not a boyfriend. That life gets tiresome really fast, and the fact that he can sleep his hangover away anytime he wants doesn’t give him any structure. If you want to change how the direction of the relationship is going, plan some stay-home dates or romantic dinners or hikes, or something that is totally non-club related. If that bores him or he insists on going out, then he’s really not that into you or the relationship. Time to move on, or get him to change it up. But, once a party boy always a party boy. Some guys just can’t imagine doing anything but being in the scene, you can’t really change someone who is set in their ways. Be firm and insist you do other things on your dates. If he says no, then say goodbye. And give him my number, I love a club kid.

_____

Dear Chad,

My boyfriend’s mom just hates me. We have never gotten along, and I’m at the point of stopping trying. We’ve been together for three years now, and she still does not include me in any family stuff, she continues to make passive-aggressive comments about my lifestyle and barely acknowledges my presence when she comes to visit. I’m ready to throw momma from the train. It doesn’t help that my boyfriend is a total mama’s boy. She can do no wrong in his eyes and they talk on the phone a million times a day. Oy.

Mama’s Boy

Dear Mama’s Boy,

It sounds like your boyfriend needs to get his big boy pullups on and set her straight.  You’ve been together for three years so it doesn’t sound like you are going anywhere. She needs to realize that. She also needs to realize that since you love your son, you deserve respect and a place at the table. She probably hasn’t liked any of his boyfriends because that means she is not the only one in his life. Your boyfriend needs to tell her to knock it off. You also need to start addressing it. If she makes a passive-aggressive comment, stop her and ask her what she means by it. Stop clocking her every time she does something shady, if you bring it to the light, she will be embarrassed and eventually stop. There is no excuse to be treated rudely by anyone’s family member. You’ve tried, you’ve done your part. She needs to shape up or get shut out. Yaasssss!