Major League Baseball’s Wardrobe Malfunction Strokes Straight Dudes the Wrong Way

February 26, 2024
HANK ORSO

Straight men are losing their shit over the new MLB uniform with the see-through pants. So, I’d just like to say, MLB, you’re doing great sweetie! Play balls! pic.twitter.com/cFxLhPZS4x
— Ryan James Dee  (@RyanJamesDee) February 24, 2024

While the rest of us think "What's the major league problem?"

So apparently the Major League Baseball company...group...cotillion...sorry, I don't know what the MLB actually is. Corporation? Anyway, the MLB somethingorother is having a wardrobe malfunction of major league problems, and straight dudes seem to be the only ones complaining.

Just so we're all playing on the same field, here's what's apparently happened. Nike was hired to design new uniforms with an instruction to make them more wearable, and more comfortable to move in. The uniforms were then made by a company called Fanatics, and that seems to be where the problem lies. It seems the material, especially for the pants, is a bit sheer. Well, actually see-through. The MLB told the Wall Street Journal (as reported in the NY Post) “The uniform pants have the same material and thickness as the uniform pants used last season. There were changes to the fabric of the jersey, not the pants.”

But one look at the pic of Giants infielder Casey Schmitt's, um, sports gear had one X commenter saying "MLB is expanding into OnlyFans." And Schmitt's not the only one inadvertently showing off his array of talents!

These new MLB uniforms are quite something pic.twitter.com/WacymjEAUh
— Big Cat (@BarstoolBigCat) February 22, 2024

And of course, straight fans and online commenters aren't terribly pleased, though they may be having their fun with it. I don't think I've ever seen so many bros concerned about fashion and discuss clothing manufacturing and stitching as what we're seeing play out right now!

These MLB uniforms are a disaster pic.twitter.com/Kf8NCAoyUc
— Mostly Sports With Mark Titus & Brandon Walker (@mostlysports) February 24, 2024

Granted, some of the players are none too pleased with the change, and since they're the ones who have to wear them, play in them, and be photographed in them, we might want to take their opinion into consideration. Yankees reliever Tommy Kahnle, in speaking to The NY Post, complained “Even I thought the last few years they haven’t been as stretchy. But definitely this year you can notice the fabric is just a little tighter than we’re used to. I think the consensus is they’re not too great. … I know a lot of the guys don’t really like them.”

Naturally, people are having a field day with it, supplying us with a plethora of memes and general sports-related hilarity!

MLB: You sew those new uniform pants yet?
Fanatics: Sure did boss, real fuckin sexy just like you asked.
MLB: what https://t.co/9Nj2ohmHdM
— Stu (@RandBallsStu) February 22, 2024

Kudos to @laurengrimaldi_ for discovering the real mastermind behind all this!

I figured out who designed the new MLB Fanatics uniforms pic.twitter.com/a7406qyMp7

— Lauren Grimaldi (@laurengrimaldi_) February 23, 2024

All I can say is that is, "thank you" to all the straight guys out there causing a small uproar and making public something I never would have come across if you hadn't opened your sweet, purdy mouths. Now, take me out to the ballgame and anything else that MLB thing is offering up!