Grindr Fails: DL Guys, Married Guys, and Daddy Issues

January 8, 2024
JOSHUA ANDREW

It's Monday, which means it's time to return to the grind. And by the grind, we, of course, mean Grindr — our favorite sex app. The holidays on Grindr were really where it was at — everyone was home and horny and bored and wasting countless hours on Grindr (and other apps). There was this video going around the gay socials about if you see that gay family member on their phone this season, don't look at the screen, don't worry about what's happening there. If they say they are leaving to hang with a friend, don't ask which friend. It's rude. Now let's jump in on some fun crazy Grindr fails.

2023 was really the year of role play. It's still too early to tell if all this role play will heat up these cold winter months in 2024, but the traffic to sites like Gaycest, Family Dick, and Family Creep would suggest otherwise. In this exchange, the guy in blue reached out first to the guy in yellow, who one must assume is the older of the two guys. The guy in blue went ahead and gave him a little daddy to see how it landed and much to his surprise, mine, and yours this daddy said no way, sir. He may be older but he's the one playing sub here. Just goes to prove you can't judge a book or a daddy by his cover (photo).

So many questions here. Like does this straight guy have a face on there or was it a blank profile that the guy in yellow decided to hit up anyway? Also, the straight guy in blue is too eager to let guys know he's straight. Dude, calm down. You're on Grindr, you're active enough to be answering messages, you're dipping your toe in this gay pool, bro. Then his comments about the dairy aisle — that's a copy-and-pasted response. He definitely uses that all the time to let horny guys know that he's off the (super) market.

This poor wife, though. But also I'd go — it's kind of hot. This straight guy is repressed and this is his only chance to have some fun while his wife is away. She's away for a whole week, I can't imagine the fun this guy is having hosting all the weiners and buns at his home. He just better hope his wife isn't wise to him and installed a nanny cam or something because that would really bring this all to the next level.