Ask Chad: Holiday Sex, Cum Loads, and Go-Go Boys

Hey Turkeys!

Well, next week is Thanksgiving already. Who’s ready to get stuffed? I love Thanksgiving time on Grindr because all the college hotties return home to visit their families which means FRESH MEAT! Especially the “straight” ones who haven’t come out yet…HOT! I usually do quite well during the holidays, just have to make sure and not eat too much so I’m ready for action. Last year, I got railed in the back of a neighbor’s pickup while my family was getting the desserts ready. LOL.

Anywayyyy, keep those questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

My boyfriend and I always go to my parents for Thanksgiving, have for the past five years. Here’s the thing, we stay in my old bedroom (it’s now a guest room) which is nice. BUT, my boyfriend can’t even give up sex for a few days and always insist we fuck. Here’s the thing…he is LOUD! And my mom ALWAYS says something and it makes me uncomfortable. My dad doesn’t say a word but I’m sure he hears it too. I don’t like making my family feel uncomfortable, but my boyfriend pouts when he doesn’t get sex. What do I do?

Holiday Sex

Dear Holiday Sex,

Your boyfriend is still asking for sex after five years? MARRY HIM. LOL. I usually lose interest after five weeks, not to mention five years! You scored yourself a good one. I do understand the having sex at your family home. One time, my grandfather walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's face in a jockstrap. He has a bit of dementia and was looking for the bathroom. Hopefully, he forgot about it. Anyway…I don’t think anyone should tell us when and where we can have sex but I also have manners and know that it can be awkward. Either make a game out of it and try having silent sex, cover his mouth, and be dom about it, making it a sexy thrill. OR, go have sex somewhere else. Late-night sex in the backseat of a car is hot. Sex out in a field of corn is hot (one of my boyfriends lived in Illinois). Make it thrilling enough to satisfy your beau without embarrassing your family. Or send your parents to the store and go at it.

_____

Dear Chad,

I’ve started seeing this guy and we have been having crazy sex. Here’s the thing, he cums…A LOT. I’m not ready to take his load bareback yet so he pulls out and cums all over the place. It’s hot but he gets it all over my expensive pillows and sheets and I have to do laundry and dry clean my comforter every damn time. What else can I do?

Cum Cleaner

Dear Cum Cleaner,

Is this really a serious question? Take the comforter off the bed, dip$hit. Or lay towels or rubber sheets down. DUH. Or be a man and take it in the mouth if you aren’t ready to bareback. Complaining about too much cum? Seriously??? You sound fun…

_____

Hi Chad,

My boyfriend has started working as a go-go boy. I’ve gone to see him a few times. At first, it was hot to see him shake his stuff, but it got boring really fast as I didn’t want to stand at the bar for hours while guys felt him up. But now he is getting home super late, and by the time he showers and changes, he’s too tired to fuck or hang out. Then because of his late nights, he sleeps through the morning and I’m gone to work by the time he’s awake. Advice?

Go-Go Guilt

Dear Go-Go Guilt,

This hits home. LOL. I used to work as a go-go boy but got fired for servicing the other go-go boys in the dressing room. I was dating someone who worked as a banker so our hours were way off. He also couldn’t deal with other guys touching me all night…which I got off on. Anyway, his jealousy and us never seeing each other made us break up. Or, because I’d come home with other boys’ loads, whichever. Either you have to schedule some time where you both can get together or this might not work out. My advice is don’t tell him to stop working as a go-go, that will send him on his way. If you aren’t willing to work through this then maybe it’s not the right match for you. P.S. Where is he go-go dancing? I wanna go see and I have a wad of one-dollar bills.

Fleshbot: Plug-In, Get Off.
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