The gAyBC’s With Bobby Beyond: B Is For BDSM

September 5, 2023
BOBBY BEYOND

B has to keep the ball rolling with another powerful queer topic, so why not one of the most famous acronyms to ever exist? It’s made its way from dark historical roots to modern pop culture, most notably via the 50 Shades Of Grey series. Rihanna’s “S&M” also had people feeling freaky and is still a favorite club hit. We’ve all heard about the whips, chains, and the deliciously dark world of kink, but where did it come from? When did people start to get off on things like spanking and bondage? Who turned pain into pleasure? Buckle up babes, and brace yourself to discover why B is for BDSM.

First, to understand such a topic we must dissect the acronym. Each letter combines with the next to create the initialism. B + D is Bondage and Discipline. D + S is Domination and Submission. S + M is Sadism and Masochism. They’re grouped together because they all live relatively in the same realm. However, one is not synonymous with the other. For instance, someone who is heavily into domination and submission might not be into bondage, and someone who loves bondage might not be too keen on sadism.

Now let’s rewind a lot, all the way back to around 4,000 B.C. There are Cuneiform texts that depict domination rituals for a goddess known as Inanna unto another god named Ebiḫ. Inanna is the ancient Mesopotamian goddess of love, and also commonly associated with sex, war, beauty, divine law, and political power. Ebiḫ is known at this time as the Mesopotamian god of the Hamrin Mountains. There’s an ancient hymn from Ebiḫ to Inanna depicting cross-dressing rituals and transformations “imbued with pain and ecstasy” and “altered states of consciousness; punishment, moaning”. Not to spoil the myth’s ending, but Inanna kills Ebiḫ by grasping his neck and stabbing him in the heart with a dagger. Now that’s romance.

How many of us saw that sexy but gory bloodbath that was the movie 300? Well, guess what, yes the Spartans were kinky as well. During the 9th century B.C. in Artemis, Orthia, Spartans regularly participated in ritual flagellation called diamastigosis. Young adolescent men were whipped in a ceremony that was overseen by a priestess. This practice was deemed as a rite of passage for boys to become men. I’d like to volunteer myself as tribute for this if I can get a group of muscled-up Spartans to spank me too!

Fast forward to sometime around 490 B.C. near Tarquinia, Lazio, Italy. There’s an ancient tomb called Tomba Della Fustigazione, or The Tomb of the Whipping. This kinky and ancient discovery was excavated in 1960 by Carlo Maurilio. There are two paintings of erotic scenes visible in the tomb, the one on the left of two men with one woman having intercourse. The other, however, is one of a woman holding a man by the hips who is spanking her with a flat hand while another man stands behind her and flagellates her with a whip. Thus proving that whips and chains excited ancient people the same as modern.

Ancient people were kinda kinky, but we’ve really taken things to new levels in recent times. Post World War II, the 1940s saw droves of gay men and women flocking to large U.S. cities like Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York, and Chicago after returning home from the war. They formed leather and biker clubs, donning their best leather jackets and gear. This was also the birth of Mr. Leather and Mr. Drummer contests. In the 1970s, it was very taboo to depict homosexuals in publications as anything but unstable and crazy. A brave man by the name of Larry Townsend would take things a step further in 1972 when he would write The Leatherman’s Handbook, which became a staple in the leather community as a blueprint to the kinky underground subculture. The book was ahead of its time, having foundations that still remain relevant today.

We can’t talk about American BDSM movements without mentioning the lesbian-femenist organization, The Samois. From 1978 to 1983, the group was a lesbian-exclusive BDSM group formed by Pat Califia, Gayle Rubin, and 16 others. They disbanded due to infighting, but the breakaway group called The Exiles still exists and is operational today!

In modern times, BDSM is no stranger to society. 2010 saw Rihanna and Christina Aguilera release BDSM-themed music videos with “S&M” and “Not Myself Tonight”. 50 Shades of Grey and its sequels brought the fantasy to many, however, it’s condemned by many in the kink community as a poor representation of BDSM relationships and often called out for depicting domestic violence.

Gay men can visit clubs like The Eagle, The Barracks, and more, where they celebrate gay leather culture and provide a community for individuals looking to meet like-minded people. One of my favorite stores, Rough Trade in Los Angeles, sells a large selection of leather gear and toys for kinky playtime. BDSM is alive and well in the modern gay community, and you don’t have to look far to find it. If you’re interested in exploring your kinks, find a safe space with others who know what they’re doing to show you the ropes (no pun intended). But the lesson here is to never feel ashamed or embarrassed of your desires, even ancient people were kinky!