Grindr Fails: Flaky Tops, Professors, and Bathroom Stalls

Oh hi! Good morning and welcome to yet another installment of Grind Fails! This is where I bring you a fierce selection of some of my favorite Grindr screenshots. This week we’re indulging in a professor fantasy! It’ll make sense later. I’m also sharing some interesting bathroom content. And also some bathroom content that happened on a stranger’s couch. That will also make sense later! And the time has come for men to respect my time! Check out all these posts below, and don’t forget to follow me on Instagram for more foolishness!

 

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Before we get to the actual meat and potatoes of this post, I need to address something. Did anyone else clock that this man misspelled his own name? At least he corrected himself. Maybe his autocorrect is misbehaving. I don’t know his life. I do know though that the other guy in the chat didn’t remember him. And that’s when Brandon had to humble the girl. How could you forget the time you were mud wrestling on a stranger’s couch? I have a lot of respect for Brandon to be honest. He seems to have forgiven the fellow for destroying the couch. I hope they were able to meet for round two. People in the comments asking why Brandon would ever message him again need to calm down. Maybe they had a really great connection until things got a little muddy. I hope they’re married now!

 

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Anyone who knows me knows that I hate when people disrespect my time. Especially if I am expected to clean out for an evening of anal contact. So I definitely empathize with this person being annoyed that the other guy keeps pushing things back. Men who don’t bottom often don’t understand the work and preparation that goes into bottoming. And the gag is that many of these men will expect you to be shaved, cleaned up, and smelling fresh. But they’ll show up smelling like a hard day’s work. This is largely the reason why I stopped bottoming as much as I used to. We shouldn’t be putting up with this clown behavior, and I think this man is justified in his frustration. I would also do one less squirt of water every time he reschedules.

 

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Is this a fantasy? There’s no way I’m the only person who thinks about hooking up with a former professor, coach, or boss. But to be approached on Grindr by a former English professor must be daunting. And the way he said not to tell anyone, not because he wants discretion, but because of his poor grammar! I was gagged! It wouldn’t be me though! My grammar is lovely! I think good grammar is so sexy. So I think this professor and I would get along just fine! I really hope they ended up hooking up anyway.

 

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Someone help me understand! What is it with the gays and the bathroom obsessions? I know I sound crazy, but I feel like every time I open Twitter, I see another video of some understall action. Why are we doing this? Where did the trauma begin? What happened to car play? Or maybe someone’s home?! I don’t know! I’m not a scientist. This exchange happened to take place in a Walmart restroom. Does everyone sit in a public bathroom and open Grindr? Regardless, it seems like neither of these men was interested in bathroom play. In fact, one of them asked the other to stop humming Beyonce! That’s actually iconic. I totally get it though! There are few things more annoying than people who sing or hum aloud to themselves in public. It makes me want to scream and throw things. 

I hope you enjoyed these exchanges as much as I did! Be sure to follow the accounts featured on Instagram and DM me any fierce Grindr screenshots you think should be featured next!

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