Sissy That Walk, a Love Letter to the Effeminate Black Queers on TV

As I prep my deep dive into the series Noah's Arc for the end of Black History Month, I wanted to take a step back and highlight something I learned that stuck with me. "Effemiphobia" is the stigmatization that effeminate black men are sexually and romantically undesirable. Growing up a lil zesty, as we say at the cookouts, living hood adjacent was never the best for your growth or self-esteem. Unless you were in an environment where you were nurtured and loved for your effeminate expression, it was common to grow to loathe yourself or be truly afraid to take up space as yourself.

There were not many portrayals of Black fem men on television, practically none, and if there were, they were inaccessible to me on my parents' cable packages. I fully acknowledge what seeing myself on TV would have done for my growth, but I had to settle for being okay with seeing Gay on TV. It wouldn't be until 2008 that I would see a gay Black character on a prominent show I watched and loved. Fast forward through the years to 2023, and representation has taken leaps and bounds. Much more can be done, but I have been learning to stop and appreciate things. So this is a love letter to the Black Fem gays and theys that helped me feel seen.

In 2008, I was introduced to the slick-mouth, durag-wearing, unapologetic, best cook at Merlotte's Bar & Grill with the most iconic scene. Lafayette Reynolds on True Blood, played by the incomparable Nelsan Ellis (rest in peace) heads over to a table of Rednecks and reads them to filth when they have an issue about him cooking their food. "Well baby, it's too late for that, Fag*gots have been breeding your cows, raising your chickens, and even brewing your goddamn beer. Everything on your goddamn table has AIDS". Then they push him too far; he manhandles and embarrasses the gents and lets them know this is his house and you will eat his aids burgers, his faggy chickens, and drink his queer beer. Now sissy that walk.

Lionel Higgins of Dear White People, played by Tyler James Williams in the film and DeRon Horton in the show, most resembled me growing up. My best friend said every time I came home from college, I was a little more Black and a little gayer, and that is how I saw the progression of Lionel's character in the show. As the series progressed, he became more himself, making more Black friends and pushing himself into more queer spaces, and his vernacular and mannerisms changed. Him thinking less and just BEING more.

Tituss Burgess, who played Titus Andromedon on Kimmy Schmidt, deserved a spin-off show, and I will die on this hill, but often we are sat behind a cis woman for jokes and laughs! The scene-stealing, effervescent, extra-as-hell struggling actor never failed to make me keel over in tears with everything that came out of his mouth. Take me back to his Lemonade parody RIGHT NOW.

The guys of Pose, Damon in particular, played by Ryan Jamaal Swain, had a story similar to mine. Alone without his support system in New York trying to make it. Seeing him dance, win, and create his own family on his terms would have been nice to see years earlier, but I was over the moon the depiction was solidified in media history for others to watch and learn.

Eric Effiong, played by Ncuti Gatwa, is the only reason I have watched Sex Education. Give me a Black queer experimenting with gender expression any day. His episode of returning to his motherland and having to suppress himself but still enjoy his family because of the culture and feelings of a home is enormous. I used to do anything to feel familial companionship, make myself smaller, and accept any behavior. Still, just like Eric did with Adam, sometimes you must realize you need to fly, and some people, though you love them, are holding you back.

A Youtube series I found in 2021 titled For The Boys gave me my first mainstream Non-Binary character; Anthony, portrayed by Chandler Town, opens the series walking to work in bright red heels and struggling to push through their insecurities and be the bad bitch they are. Anthony continues through the series, continuously making themselves be WHO they see in their mind. An inspiration for sure.

After, I began to search for more non-binary expressions on TV. I found two on entirely different networks. Uncle Clifford, played by Nicco Annan, and Nathaniel Hardin, played by Rhoyle Ivy King. The former plays a powerful and stylish business owner on P-Valley, giving us the duality, glamour, and behind-the-scenes of expressing gender fluidity. Nothing made my skin crawl more than watching them remove their nail set fresh with glue and everything. The latter became a show and fan favorite on the CW's All-American. The creator expanded the role of Hardin. The first non-binary character on The CW, Nathaniel, is never seen without a full beat or wig. Come on, representation, take me to the moon!

Lastly, the gay ahead of her time, a fashion icon, the last gay unicorn of LA, California, in 2005, Noah of Noah's Arc. The sweet, lovable, head in the clouds titular character who was doing it before the girls were getting it done.

As I sit here in awe of the courage these characters exhibited and the ideals they embodied, I feel a sense of strength and hope that I, too, will and can find my lane of feminity and masculinity to be loved in.

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