Jordan Jayro’s Drag Race Season 15 Recap: Episodes 1 & 2

January 8, 2023
JORDAN JAYRO

It’s finally here!!! The premiere episode of season 15 of RuPaul’s Drag Race is out!! I’ve been eagerly awaiting the return of those beautiful pink sugar walls! And the wait is finally over!! It’s the biggest premiere yet, with a total of 16 queens entering the werk room. And maybe a surprise or two… Since we’re getting the first two episodes, we’re going to talk about them both! Let’s get right to it!

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Since there are literally a million queens entering the werk room (give or take another million), I’m not going to go over each entrance. Who has time for that?! Not me! The first four queens to enter are Irene DuBois, Luxx Noir London, Aura Mayara, and Marcia Marcia Marcia (from now on let’s just call her Marcia once). Irene is so funny!! She’s throwing so much shade at Luxx and I LOVE IT. I’m starting to see that Luxx is the first queen to suffer from a case of delusion! That hair was not 40 inches. She must be using the same ruler the guys on Sniffies use because that was maybe 28 inches soaking wet.

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Next to enter is Anetra, Malaysia Babydoll Foxx, Princess Poppy, and Sasha Colby! Malaysia of course is shady about there being so many “baby queens” in the room. This whole baby queen versus seasoned queen argument is so tired. You’re all in the same room so who cares?? Just say you’re insecure and move on, gorg. Just when we think there aren’t any more queens walking in, Drag Race icon Ornacia walks in!!! But wait!!! It’s not Ornacia! The zipper opens to reveal that it is none other than Ariana Grande!!! Imagine being in the room and seeing that!! I’d be squirting everywhere!

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RuPaul walks in and tells the queens that Ariana Grande is the extra special guest judge this week! How fun!! The girls are told that this week’s mini challenge is a recreation of the first-ever Drag Race photoshoot! It’s the one where they pose on the car while the Pit Crew hoses them down!! Irene DuBois wins the mini-challenge! The girls are then whisked away to rehearse for their big group number they’ll perform for the judges.

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Next to enter is Salina Estitties, Amethyst, Loosey LaDuca, Jax, Mistress Isabella Brooks, and Sugar and Spice. Then, Ornacia walks in again!!! And this time it’s just Vivacious. I’d be so mad knowing the other girls got Ariana and I got Vivacious. No shade! The second group of queens do a photoshoot as well. But this time it’s a wind photoshoot inspired by season two. Loosey LaDuca wins the mini-challenge!! Now the queens are told they’ll also have to choreograph a group number to One Night Only! And also do a talent show. What could possibly go wrong??

Then RuPaul combines the groups and now they have to do the group number together! I can’t keep up with all the gagging I’m doing. I feel like I’m back at the Thanksgiving orgy I attended. Now the girls are all getting ready and it would seem that Sugar and Spice are running behind. The other girls are noticing and scoffing at them. It just feels very apparent that the twins have never been in a dark crowded dressing room. And it shows. Anyway, let’s talk about the performance!!!

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The group number was cute! Lots of walking back and forth, pointing and posing. My favorite kind of choreo! And as for the talent show, I feel like everyone did great!! My least favorites were Loosey LaDuca, Irene DuBois, and Amethyst. The runways were a moment for sure! I liked Luxx Noir’s, but I liked it better when Aquaria wore it on season 10. Sugar looked incredible in that yellow Belle-inspired look! I need it!!!! Trend alert!!! No titties. What is with the lack of boobs?? I need shape!! Loosey LaDuca needs to do a seminar on body proportions because damn she looks good. And she’s safe this week! Anetra slayed the talent portion with her martial arts duck walk performance art piece about her vagina burning. The bottom two are Amethyst and Irene DuBois. They lip-synced to “7 Rings” by Ariana Grande. Amethyst mopped the floor with Irene DuBois, and Irene was sent home. I’m so sad to see her go!! I really like her, and I have a FEELING we haven’t seen the last of her.

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That’s all for this giant premiere! If you made it this far, I appreciate you and I thank you for reading this! Come back next week to see what sort of messy things I’ll say next! It’s an acting challenge, so it’s gonna be good!