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Introducing Chad, Queen of the Queeries: Cybersocket’s Sexy Answer to Dear Abby

ASK CHAD WEEKLY

Hey Boyz -

Are you ready for me?

They call me the King (or Queen) of Queeries, giving you advice you didn't know you needed. You're welcome. I'm bringing the fabulous to Cybersocket's newest addition, Ask Chad! where you can send me your questions about love and dating, fashion, career, sex—whatever really. No question is off the table. Am I professionally knowledgeable in any of these fields? Well, no. But I'm sexy AF and guys like me.

Who am I? I'm Cybersocket’s in-house, know it all. Depending on my mood and how much I've had to drink, I can be naughty or nice. I'm…that guy. Part douche, part dick, all sass.

Send me your questions at [email protected] Try me, betches.

Check out the questions that started it all:

Hey Chad!

My boyfriend is addicted to Drag Race and I can't stand it...our Friday nights are ruined having to watch it every week with his LOUD friends. What can I do?

- Dragged Out

You don’t LOVE Drag Race? Are you insane? Don’t say that too loud, the gays will get you and Momma Ru will send her Pit Crew to take your gay card away. Seriously though, there is a growing number of the gays that are not obsessed with Drag Race…we should form an underground organization or non-profit. “Does the sound of a death drop or tongue pop give you shingles? Does the sight of a lip synch give you mono? Call us today, we can help. 1-800-WHO-PAUL.” Bro, if you sit there week after week feeling obligated you will start to resent him for it and you’ll end up slashing his tires in the middle of the night out of anger…don’t ask me how I know. Just tell him it’s not your jam and while he’s watching Drag Race just go into the other room and watch football or listen to Joe Rogan or whatever it is you drag race-hating folks do. Or better yet, get on Grindr and look for me…I’ll give you the lip synch of your life…after I lower the zipper. Bloop!

Dear Chad,

What exactly is a harness in the leather community for? Do I need to buy one?

– Harness Harry

Dear Harness Harry,

It’s a fucking handle hold, dipshit. Grab onto your man’s harness and ride. If you’re in Palm Springs, you’ll notice a lot of the older guys mistake a harness for a bra. Don’t make that mistake. And yes, every gay needs a harness in their closet.

– Chad

and who can forget,

Dear Chad,

My name is Kelly. I noticed Scruff on my boyfriend’s phone. I knew he had experiences with men before we got together but we are monogamous. I don’t mind his past but don’t want to feel he’s cheating. What should I do?

-Clueless

Dear Clueless,

Get a clue, Kelly. Scruff isn’t for networking, it’s for fucking. Either get on board with some bi action in the bedroom or head to Alaska, all the men are straight there…allegedly.

– Chad

So don't be shy, what do you want to ask?

Plug In. Get Off. [email protected]

 

 

 


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