Unwrap These Packages with the Hunks of Hallmark Movies

November means we gays are now facing two whole months of what our mothers, sisters, and fag-hags seem to love more than anything else: Hallmark Christmas movies. Two months of career girls running back home to save their parents’ hometown. Rekindling a relationship with a high school sweetheart. Falling back in love with their ex. And every other rom-com cliche you can think of.  These movies would drive us nuts if it weren’t for one thing: All the fucking hot guys in these stupid movies.

Let’s have a look at some of the Hunks of Hallmark:

Ryan Paevey

Ryan starred in 12 Hallmark movies, three in 2021 alone, including the upcoming Hallmark Christmas movie Coyote Creek Christmas. Before he became a regular in Santa flicks, Ryan was a regular on General Hospital. In both, he rarely has a shirt on. Why would he? Ryan was in the running to play Christian Grey in the Fifty Shades series. That’s some straight S&M we could probably stand to watch.

Jesse Metcalfe

We first fell in lust with this guy as Eva Longoria’s teenaged gardener on Desperate Housewives. Since then, we have continued to fantasize about his blue/green eyes and pretty pecs on the revival of Dallas and in John Tucker Must Die. Jesse has appeared in five Hallmark Christmas movies and starred as Trace Riley in Hallmark Channel's hit series Chesapeake Shores.  

Trevor Donovan

When he’s not playing an adorable single dad on TV romcoms, Trevor Donovan was part of the new 90210 in the early 2000s and had a recurring role on NCIS. He has starred in 10 Hallmark films. But all we really care about is this guy’s memorable spread in Playgirl! No tan lines here!

Jonathan Bennett

The first openly gay Hallmark hunk (we know there are others), Jonathan first got us feeling grool as pretty boy Aaron Samuels in Mean Girls. He’s now engaged to an equally hot guy who he brags about on social media. He’s also breaking new ground on the Hallmark channel (if that’s possible) with his 2020 movie The Christmas House. He plays half of the first gay couple ever featured on the network. A sequel titled The Christmas House 2: Deck Those Halls is set to be released on December 18, 2021.

Robert Buckley

If not in TV romcoms, we've ogled Robert and his tan, smooth bod on One Tree Hill and iZombie. He's been in three Hallmark Christmas movies, including The Christmas House, where he plays Jonathan Bennett's brother (just imagine...), and he co-stars on the Hallmark original series Chesapeake Shores. Whatever we see him in, we're usually just waiting for him to lose those stupid clothes. 

With these guys, we could wrap some presents, drink hot cocoa, and then curl up under a cozy blanket by the fire...and then fuck like there's no tomorrow!