Top 5 Reasons Women Watch Gay Porn

I haven’t written the book on women watching gay porn yet, but I have spent long enough watching and writing about it to have developed some opinions on the subject. Likewise, women are not a hive mind that I can tap into and know what we all like or why we all do what we do. If I could do that, I’d spend fewer Friday nights at home watching gay porn.

Also, I’d have another book I could write and this one would make me brazillions!

Because this is usually such a science-based column with firm foundations in statistics, analysis, and other STEM-related educational topics my Social Science degreed self knows nothing about, I want to assure you that these are my personal opinions, developed after decades of watching men have sex with one another both in person and on various sized small screens. While I’ve not seen reel-to-reel homo-sodomy, I have fast-forwarded on a VCR remote to get to the good parts, so I have a few years under my porn calloused fingers.

The popular fiction is that women do not like pornography. Full stop. Straight, gay, bi, lesbian, trans, solo. None of it. And those non-existent women who do are whores whose value as human beings is negligible at best. Depending on who you talk to, we’re either going to hell because we watch sexual perversion at all or because we’ve somehow betrayed womankind and its feminist ideals by having done so.

I disagree with these conclusions. Further, I find that among the supposedly non-existent women who enjoy watching explicit erotic content typically called “porn,” many particularly enjoy watching gay porn. “Gay” meaning it features all dudes, all the time, having sex with each other. Without a chick. Just dudes. Guys. Men. Daddies. Boys. Twinks. Bears. Otters. You name it, they generally have penises, and those penises wind up all kinds of places that my mother told me were bad, bad, deliciously, deliciously bad.

But Darklady! If women are going to watch porn, why would they watch gay porn?

Top 5 Reasons Women Watch Gay Porn: 

1. More Uninhibited Sex

Maybe it’s because there’s no risk of pregnancy or the gender dynamics are more equal, but when two or more guys who are into guys get down and dirty, something magic happens. You can almost smell the testosterone and taste the salty musk found in the hypermasculinity that saturates some all-male scenes. It’s a glorious celebration of what I may not necessarily want in my own bed, but I love seeing and hearing go wild in its own.

2. Better Looking Men

While there have been and are notable exceptions, for the longest time, mainstream straight porn featured male performers who embodied the Everyman, the average guy with a big dick who could, at least in a fantasy, fuck a woman of impossible beauty. Exciting for the Everyman. Not so inspirational for the Everywoman. Gay porn certainly has its construction workers, plumbers, and working-class heroes, but somehow they’re just hotter.

3. Greater Body Diversity

People have been lied to about a lot of things related to sex and love. Among them, that only certain body types are attractive and only the young are sexy. In reality, desire is as individual as the individual. While I realize there are age and body politics within the gay community, its porn still provides women with a refreshing buffet of masculine choices: hairless muscle men down to fuck, Dapper Dans in stylish suits, youthful innocents eager to be sullied, stern Daddies ready to take us in hand, and hairy bears with love handles just for starters.

4. More Varied Settings

I’ve been getting paid to watch porn long enough that if my career were a person, it would be of drinking age by now. During that time, I have watched a lot of ostensibly straight people fucking in the same goddamn places scene after scene, video after video, year after year. While something similar may be said about gay porn, at least there are more places than the couch, the bed, and occasionally the pool table. Boys aren’t afraid of hooking up in the bus station bathroom. They go to resorts and bang strangers on chaise lounges in the main courtyard. They get down on bakery counters. They shove their fists up asses in dungeons equipped with leather body slings and jugs of J-Lube!

5. Guilt-Free Watching

With so many moral authorities telling women that watching straight or even lesbian porn is aiding in the alleged oppression of its female participants, watching two or more guys just fuck the living shit out of each other can be such a relief.