Theo Brady and Markus Kage Fix Benjamin Blue’s Wagon on Men.com

A Helpful Stranger with a Toolbox Makes an Auto Breakdown Fun.

Leave it to Men.com to find a way to make even a miserable experience into a fuck-me-now-on-the-hood-of-my-car experience! With “Roadside ASS-istance” we get to see how poorly some people deal with stress, how nice some strangers can be to twinky “hotties,” and how foolish it is to lose faith in the mechanical abilities of your French-Canadian boyfriend when broken down in the middle of nowhere in his “like, brand new” car.

Benjamin Blue does not deal well with stress. He and boyfriend Theo Brady are driving to family dinner with Benjamin’s relatives when they get lost and then because being lost isn’t fucked up enough, the nearly new vehicle breaks down in the middle of farmland and meadows. Lovely foliage but not convenient for engine repair. While the mechanically disinclined Benjamin insists he can repair whatever isn’t working, his sweetheart Theo Brady isn’t quite as confident.

This lack of confidence in his mate drives Theo to hike his tank top up, wear his shorts short, don a sassy attitude, wave around a fat glow stick, and march to the nearest road. Miracle of miracles here comes a vehicle, and its driver is turning toward Theo to render aid! As he explains once he’s arrived, mega butch Markus Kage can “always make time for a distressed hottie.” Alas, the distressed hottie’s boyfriend is not as interested in help as the distressed hottie is. He will, however, accept the offer of tools to use while making the repair himself.

When the ever-helpful Theo goes to check out Markus’ toolbox, he finds that it’s filled with dildos. With a simple “show me what’cha got,” the hairy, tattooed, muscular man whose plaid shirt won’t stay buttoned is granted permission to introduce a Caucasian-ish colored dildo into the boy’s ass. Our first evidence of this is a surprised and delighted expression on Theo’s face. Then the camera swings behind him and we can admire Markus’ dildo-thrusting technique. The man knows what he’s doing and is an animal while doing it. He growls. He swears. He grunts. He fuckin’ rules the screen.

Then he drops trou, spits on his dick, and plunges it raw into the boy’s dildo-stretched asshole. To make sure he knows who’s boss, Markus wraps one heavily inked hand around Theo’s mouth, swapping back and forth so neither becomes too fatigued.

Speaking of fatigued, Benjamin is tired of waiting for these mythical tools that Markus was supposed to lend him, so he looks toward the duo. He sees Markus but not Theo, who is now bent over with an orange dildo in his mouth. He’s safe for the moment, but only for the moment because Benjamin experiences his own miracle when he realizes that he’s fixed the car! He calls to his “babe,” and then finds him in a very compromising position. “You’re a motherfucking asshole,” he screams. “You want to be fucked hard? I’ll show you fucked hard.”

And with that challenge having been made, the real fun begins.

The previously mentioned orange dildo makes another appearance, this time suctioned to Benjamin’s passenger side door, penetrating Theo’s butt, and being moved back and forth to thoroughly make its point. When Benjamin spots Markus making a quiet retreat, he stops him in his tracks. “Hey, you! We’re not done! Bring that dick over here and fuck his face,” shouts the angry boyfriend. It’s not a hard sell, especially given what has already taken place between Markus and the twink.

Now that Benjamin has someone to help him mete out punishment, they proceed to put Theo between an unstoppable force and an immovable object. Markus initially takes up residence in Theo’s mouth while Benjamin controls the door and its dildo, which is relentlessly up the wicked boy’s butt. Then they effectively drape him over through the open window while Markus bangs his ass and his mouth gives his sweetheart something to consider when considering forgiveness.

If this is supposed to make Theo rethink his earlier slutty ways, it’s not working. In fact, if I were a betting man, I’d put odds on Theo wanting to swap numbers and do this again. But right now, Benjamin is reading him the riot act while giving him exactly what he wants. It’s a win-win-win!

The trio moves instinctively to the hood of the car and places Theo precariously on its edge missionary. Between the two of them, the slight and the brawny man are able to keep the eager bottom from falling off. For a testosterone-rich man like Markus, it must be an unusual experience to have someone as slim and young as Benjamin giving him directions. But when you’re fucking someone else’s boyfriend, there are certain conventions one must adhere to in order to be considered polite society.

I’m sure that Theo appreciates all the hard work that goes into keeping him from tumbling off of the hood and onto his noggin’ because that allows him to enjoy a geyser of pent-up cum that earns praise from Benjamin and loud growls from Markus. Then, the final element of the “Roadside ASS-istance” process takes place. At Markus’ instruction, Theo gets on his knees and the two men simultaneously stroke off onto his shoulders and chest.

Then, because Men.com men love their families, Benjamin panics about the time and everyone scurries to get where they need to be. I sure hope they packed some kind of Wet Nap.

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