All The Horny And Gay Things From Ryan Murphy’s New ‘Hollywood’ Trailer

Production on new movie and TV projects has come to a halt in Hollywood, which means that we reeeeallly need to appreciate whatever comes out over the next couple of months. So we're squeezing out every droplet of stanky man moisture from the trailer for Ryan Murphy's new Netflix miniseries Hollywood! In the words of Madonna - Everybody comes to Hollywood. They wanna make it in the neighborhood.

Hollywood takes us back to the post-World War II Golden Age of movies - a time that from the outside epitomized glitz and glamour, but from the inside was fraught with bigotry. For as much as it's my life's goal to be able to hate Ryan Murphy, if Pose has taught us anything it's that he's able to deftly balance what's worth celebrating about a time period with what's worthy highlighting as problematic. Hollywood is most likely going to be *takes in deep breath* amazing and flawless. Like fuck off dude. Do something bad. Oh wait. He did.

With Pose we get to revel in the eye-popping ball culture of the 80's that is in large part responsible for drag as we know it today, but not without remembering the sacrifices queer people of color made to live their true selves. With Hollywood, it appears that Ryan isn't skimping on the fashion, cars, and interior design that makes the 40's like crack for filmmakers and audiences. But spoiler alert: The 40's wasn't the best time to make a go of it as an actor if you were black, a woman, or gay, and Murphy's Hollywood seeks to expose the injustices that served as the bedrock for the studio system.

If Hollywood is going to be anything like Murphy's other Netflix series The Politician, it sadly won't exhibit the unhinged pornographic nature of FX's American Horror Story. However there's plenty to celebrate in the new trailer for Hollywood! One of Murphy's latest muses - David Corenswet - got gay and shirtless in The Politician, and in Hollywood he's back looking like a damn snack and a half while lounging nude in a chair. (See David's 2018 nude scene here)

The openly gay actor Jim Parsons plays against-type as a sketchy studio exec/casting director. Following his line "I'm not just a star, I'm a star-maker" (It's so awkward that I have that same quote tattooed on my lower back!) we get a glimpse of some sort of casting couch fantasy or ~illicit temptation~ featuring two super hot dudes in tighty-whities.

The starlet being introduced to the Bulge Twins is Jake Picking, portraying Rock Hudson (the series offers fictional narratives of real Hollywood drama). Jake shows his in-fucking-sane body in boxers next to his gay lover.

And did you think Murphy was going to leave out Darren Criss? Criss would have to sign a contract with Men.com to get pornier than he did in ACS: Versace, but at the very least in Hollywood we get to see his delish hairy chest.

Finally, in the trailer for Hollywood we get a glimpse of some sort of sexy muscly Hollywood pool party.

We've said it before and we'll say it again - vintage guys are just plain hotter! Hollywood debuts on May 1st, so start counting down the days until I milk dis bich for all it's worth! In the words of Madonna - Shine your light now. This time it's gotta be good. You get it right now. Yeah. 'Cause you're in Hollywood. Lol idk bye.