Queer Abby: My Penis Is Going Stir-Crazy In Quarantine, Help!

Queer Abby,

Any recommendations on how to fill the time during this quarantine? Porn to watch? Shows to watch? New hobbies or activities to try?

Warmly,
Stir-Crazy

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Dear Stir-Crazy,

If the past month has taught us anything it's that there's no choice during a pandemic but to lean in. #LeanIn2020 ya'll. #LeanIn2020 means streaming your sac off. Some can't-miss gay series available on Netflix include Pose, Special (which includes a hot and realistic gay sex scene), and London Spy (more hot sex. Ben Whishaw is an underrated gay sex icon tbh (Side note: woof don't go by the first pic that comes up on Google)). And if you haven't seen the 1968 documentary The Queen on Netflix, do that now! It's basically a prequel to Paris is Burning, and you can even catch a young Pepper LaBeija. In addition to Pose, other Ryan Murphy shows like American Crime Story: Versace are now on Netflix (thanks to Murphy's ob-fucking-scene $300 million deal). Only watch Versace if you want Darren Criss to get you pregnant through your screen. That's right. Queer Abby is late 😱

But more importantly porn. Just like much of the workforce around the world, pornstars are unable to do their normal job around others, which means that pornstars are turning to solo work for income. There's no better time than right now to finally jump in and support your favorite pornstar or Instagram model on his OnlyFans. If anyone has suggestions for specific models to follow, please sound off below!

Some more iconic ideas:

• Use Shutterfly to print a sexy pic on a photo puzzle. Puzzles are all the rage during quarantine but make yours erotiqué
• Buy a new sex toy online
• Buy some nasty swim trunks online to help stay motivated for your #beachbod
• Buy dirty underwear online and wear them just for the fuck of it
• Set a new edging goal. You literally don't have anywhere to be!
• Get into feet
• Follow Nyle DiMarco's 15 minute ab workout. And then masturbate to his 15-minute ab workout video for 15-minutes
• Become a better person. JK do daily stretches until you can suck your own dick

Honestly guys I would love to hear what you are doing to pass time during Self-Love In The Time Of COVID-19. Make sure to give our friend Stir-Crazy some suggestions in the comments!

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And make sure to send in your Queer Abby questions to [email protected], or through our anonymous Queer Abby Google Form.