Nick Jonas Shirtless In Bed For Manic Brainwashed Dog Skit

 

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Pri came home with the absolute best surprise this morning. Please meet our new pup @ginothegerman I haven’t stopped smiling since I woke up this morning and finally realized what was going on. Thank you @priyankachopra ❤️ 🐕

A post shared by Nick Jonas (@nickjonas) on Nov 26, 2019 at 1:55pm PST

Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra's marriage is so manic, contrived, and bombastic that they make the Peloton couple seem sane. They're always concocting interactions that are obviously very staged and feel as though they were posted to Instagram more out of contractual obligation than irreverent fun-loving spontaneity. Seeing Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra interact is like watching a Netflix cult documentary 30 minutes in when things aren't super crazy yet but you can tell there's trouble brewing.

AND. I. STAN! This is how you do a marriage people! You need both sets of eyes involved to be completely dead in order for a marriage to work. Anyway all of this brings us to the tragic mess that is Priyanka surprising Nick with a dog in bed. He'd probably rather have a bear ;p

Technically Nick is shirtless and technically this helps me envision what my lifeless staged marriage could be like with Nick. This is the only content he's posted to Instagram in months that's even somewhat salvageable for Fleshbot, so you better look at the nizasty shoulders and hint of glorious chest fuzz and iconiqué pits and you better enjoy mister.