Pete Buttigieg And His Fat Ass Dominated Power Bottom Fourth Democratic Debate

October 16, 2019
HIS_EXCELLENCY

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Together, we can accomplish anything.
A post shared by Pete Buttigieg (@pete.buttigieg) on Oct 15, 2019 at 8:07pm PDT

The fourth Democratic debate went down last night, and many people are agreeing that the event was the power bottom to Pete Buttigieg's huge and hairy - but also unifying and respectful - cock! Most news sources really are calling out obese-assed Buttigieg as the winner of the debate (CNN put him first on their list of the evening's winners) and I can't help but feel that I'm responsible? Is that a crazy thing for me to say? Pete's star has been waning in the media over the past few weeks. Did it take my exposé on Pete's a$$ to wake America up as to Pete's a$$?

Family style. pic.twitter.com/8ZIBEG9yVY
— Team Pete HQ (@PeteForAmerica) October 10, 2019

🕵️

Honestly Pete turned his bussy out last night and showed the world that in addition to being level-headed and thoughtful, he can go head-to-head with big personalities and whip out tweet-ready one-liners like the best of 'em. It's like he's leaning into his gayness finally. We're bitches! Sissy that Medicare for all who want it hernty. You can read an actual article from a real website about Pete's performance here, but for a taste of the sass, here's what he had to say to Beto O'Rourke during a verbal Vogueing:

I don't need lessons from you on courage — political or otherwise.

And here's what he had to say to Elizabeth Warren during their category - Medicare Realness:

A yes or no question that didn't get a yes or no answer. This is why people are so frustrated. Your signature is to have a plan for everything, except this.

Where's Billy Porter? I need him to scream "fierce" into a microphone stat!

And um, side note, does anyone else need a Kleenex and a cigarette to get through any exchange between Buttigieg and O'Rourke?

The real obstacle to ending the era of mass shootings in our country isn’t on the #DemDebate stage. It’s the @NRA and its enablers in Washington. #DemDebate pic.twitter.com/suN2YQqWtb
— Pete Buttigieg (@PeteButtigieg) October 16, 2019

Please tell me there's a Democratic debate locker room where these two are unable to unleash their sexual tension all over each other's faces and stomachs! Wait, did I take it too far? Yeah, I took it too far :(