Morning Wood

· Wow, has it really been a whole month since we last wrote about Lindsay Lohan? These pictures of her mysterious crotch bulge are just her way of saying she misses us. (egotastic.com)

· Get 'em while they're hot: Tickets are now on sale for the AVN Awards Show in January. We hope the money from our paper route will be enough to cover it. (avnawards.com)

· A candidate for sheriff in Aspen, Colorado, can't understand why a 12-minute art video he made has caused such a stir. The scene where he digs a hole in the ground and then masturbates into it is probably not related. (glenwoodindependent.com)

· So what if your real estate agent also happens to be a gay pornstar (and that the "news" happens to be common knowledge already)? Why do you think those movies are always shot in such interesting locations? (radaronline.com)

· Animals are so gay. So anyone who says homosexuality is a crime against nature should probably inform the birds and the bees first. (iol.co.za)

· The nation of Fiji is shocked—shocked!—that someone would use their fabulous island paradise to shoot a sex flick. Don't these people have cable? (fijitimes.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives