“Victims!” Is Not By Andrew Lloyd Webber (But It’s Just As Gay)

We don't know what the folks at Eurocreme have against twinks, but they really seem to enjoy beating the crap out of them. Not that we're complaining, mind you: sure, our sylphlike interns might complain (especially the ones who can never seem to make coffee the way we like it), but not us. (Ed. note: anyone looking for an internship with a warm, cuddly porn blog company? We know someone who's "hiring"!)

For further evidence of Eurocreme's ongoing twink torture policy, check the box cover for the new BulldogXXX release "Victims!". Although the one-word exclamatory title might imply "Broadway spectacular!", the intimidating dildo and the look on Kai Cruz's face tell a different story: the closest Kai's gonna get to "jazz hands" is two fists up his tender young hole. Not exactly Sondheim material. Well, not his onstage material.

Now, some of us would like to believe that Eurocreme is actually empowering the world's twinks with all its butt-pillaging, binding, and shaving. (You know, the same way Tyra empowered "fat girls" on Wednesday night by selecting a size six as America's. Next. Top. Model.) And maybe that's the case. But if so, they need another copywriter to help get their point across. Note the DVD description, written by someone who has clearly never been a part of the "porn world" (whatever that is):

Life in the porn world is full of exciting sexual adventures, and for these horny fuckers, it's more about volunteers than victims!! Getting the photographer rock hard is the name of the game!

Despite the three non sequiturs in that tiny blurb, we're pretty sure Eurocreme's trying to say that Kai is volunteering for dildo annihilation, not being victimized by it. So rock on with your self-assumed victimhood, twinkish powerbottoms. (And make sure you bring us two packs of Splenda with our Ethiopian Yergacheffe next time.)

· "Victims!" (DVD info + previews @ eurocreme.com)