We’re Taking Our (Sex) Toys And We’re Going Home

Every year around this time, the Adult Entertainment Expo (aka the giant straight porn convention) rolls around. And every year, we get like whiny kids who weren't invited to the sandbox. This year is no different.

So, while all you straight boys (and girls) are ogling titties and gambling and sharing bodily fluids out there in Vegas, we're going to be sitting around planning out the perfect gay awards show. Actually, we're going to be watching all the episodes of "Bromance" we have saved on our DVR while other people plan the awards shows, but it's close. The Grabby's just announced it will hand out statues to the best and brightest in gay porn on Saturday, May 23, in Chicago with perennial hosts Chi Chi LaRue and Honey West. This year, you can vote for a porn star to be their third cohost. We nominated Ricky Sinz. Yeah, we play favorites, and we don't care.

It was announced last month that the GayVN awards, "the Oscars of gay porn," will be held March 28, and they are thankfully back at the Castro Theater in San Francisco. We have nominated Ricky Sinz to host that one too, but we'd settle for him being our escort to the event. They have a whole weekend of parties planned around the awards ceremony, so we can feel a little bit of what it's like for the hets over at the AEE.

We can't wait until we get to play in our own park. Also, if our boss, who is going to cover AEE, gives us another "My Boss Went to AEE and All I Got Was This Pocket Pussy" pocket pussy, we're going to throw it at her...used!

·The Grabby Awards (grabbys.com)
·GayVN Awards, present by NakedSword, Return to Castro Theater (gayvn.com)