Denise Austin’s Physical Education

Back in days of yore, when premium cable was still scrambled and the internet was just a gleam in some nerd's eye, young boys and girls had to learn about growing bodies and these strange new feelings within them from the only source available to their young and impressionable minds—television exercise shows. We're not sure if this cottage industry even exists anymore, but there was a time when hardbodied individuals doing sit ups and calisthenics on the beach in revealing spandex uniforms was what passed for legitimate entertainment.

And while the idea was that you would actually do the exercises along with the instructors, the typical viewers were actually hungover college students and unemployed factory workers hoping for a nice shot of some deep knee squats. Hopefully, all of that explains our misty-eyed nostaglia for this multimedia tribute to Denise Austin, queen of the sports bra-ed wonders. Nobody stretched it out quite like her ... well, except maybe some of her more dedicated followers without access to the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

· Denise Austin Picture Page (sound file warning @ celebrityboobsandbutts.com)

Previously: Miss Candy's Domination Training: No Pain, No Gain, Body Builder Porn, Nude Yoga: Get Bent (Into Shape)