Why American Sports Stars Suck, Not In Hot Way

One look at these musclestuds from Austria's Hypo Decathalon 2009 proves once again that American athletes are the sexless Puritans of Western sports.

Over here, oversized, baggy garb is de rigueur. On European fields, the jocks can't wait to nakedly show their agility with balls.

Outsports.com's series of shots from this year's competition are as hot as the more poised and popular Dieux du Stade, but far surpass anything from the states. Here, Russia's Vasiliy Kharlamov assuredly inspires us to pole vault.

First prize went to Germany's Michael Schrader, here given a lift by fellow Deutschers Norman Muller and Pascal Behrenbruch. This is one German sausagefest to which we'll raise more than a stein.

With nipples the size of a discus, and a bulge to match, we've found our fave of the festival. To think all we see in the States are mugshots of A-Rod and his wench of the moment. If U.S. sports figures were this eager to flash some flesh, we'd have long ago traded in our cast album of Gypsy for a grab at the javelin.

· Hypo Decathalon 2009 Images (outsports.com)