Does A Bear Fuck In The Woods? Yes, And Other Reasons They Make Us Growl

With winter finally winding down, the bears are coming out of hibernation. Many men are frightened by the big furry beasts. Today, we celebrate the advantages of these great grizzlies and their sweet inner Pooh Bears.

While hiking through the wilderness of internet porn, we stumbled upon a cave full of honey. On the sign above was scrawled "Pantheon Bear." On the inside was a wild bunch of beasts waiting to have their mighty cocks awakened from winter slumber. Beefy bears are often passed over for smooth chicken or sculpted, athletic dobermans. It's a crime, since bears offer several advantages:

1) Being wrapped in his big furry arms keeps you warmer than any heater.
2) His imposing physique makes him look like your personal bodyguard. You'll always feel safe.
3) Since he's used to being outside mainstream taste, he's learned to develop a real personality.
4) He could bench press you.
5) His growls during sex will make you cum on cue.

Step out of your comfort zone one, and skip past the over-plucked, over-waxed, mondo-moisturized sissy boys 90% of gaydom goes gaga for. Now that they're coming out of their caves for spring, try to wrassle yourself a bear.

· Photos of Marc Angelo and Dan Rhodes (pantheonbear.com)