Shirtless Celeb Roundup: Alex Pettyfer’s Pube Tattoo Does Not Mean “Thank You”

From a hairy treasure trail with a falsely rumored "Thank You" to the "Hooray!" treasure trail leading to dead Osama, this week's Shirtless Celebs make us proud to be a gay American. While we relish in naked famous males, let's rally up our national pride—semi-nude, of course.

First up is new Hollywood Hellcat Alex Pettyfer, with his pants hung low, showing a trail leading to a treasure of a tattoo. It's been noted on several reputable sites that the tatt means "Thank You," verified by the tattooed wonder himself. Boy, did he fool us! Here's what it really means...

It simply means "Alex," spelled in the Japanese syllabary Katakana. (Sad Trombone.) An eagle-eyed reader here noted the reality, verified by the wonders of Google here and here. Cheeky Alex, pulling a fast one on us ignorant westerners! Bad boy, indeed.
Shia LaBeouf lifts his shirt to reveal a buff bod and his treasure trail. However he seems less interested in the riches below his belt, but more into digging for gold. Someone give this class act a Kleenex! (Click "expand" in lower right of photo for full image.)
Dept. of Political Relevance: Move over Anderson Cooper. This is how we want to hear the nightly news. WWE Champion (that's pro wrestling, duckies) John Cena announced Sunday night to a revved up crowd after a match in Tampa, Flo, "We have caught and compromised to a permanent end Osama Bin Laden." And the crowds goes wild, gurl, foaming at the mouth. With this total beekcake announcing such news, add some drool dripping down our chins.
One of Europe's only out gay soccer players, Anton Hysen, shows us the goods for the cover of British mag "Attitude," sporting a treasure highway leading to the goal. If there's any doubt he's gay, check something funny about his body hair. Compare the photo above with the shirtless one here. Hmmmm...
Kellan Lutz has a treasure six-pack leading to riches we're ready to loot. Here is his catching some sun in Venice Beach, California—also our next vacation spot if these are the sights to see.
Here's Lane Garrison from "Prison Break" taking a beach break. What is with straight men and their swimwear? Those look like a full pair of pants with black Spandex underneath. He might as well take a swim in a three piece suit. If he's going to wear white while wet, and least have the decency to wear nothing under it.
At least we've got this shot of Lane's ass. Seriously though, Lane. You're swimming. Ditch the pants, learn from the gays, and wear a revealing speedo. You've got the bod, and the paparazzi are waiting.

(Click "expand" in lower right of photo for full image.)