Weekly Seduction: A Ghostly Dick Bumps Rump in the Night

In this week's most creative porn seduction, Parker London goes ghost hunting over at Next Door Studios, where he feels a chill breeze, feels an invisible something rub up against him, and finds himself pulled down to suck a phantom cock. Something horny this way cums...

Seriously, if you're going to seduce a guy, why not recreate "Ghost Adventures"? You've got dimly lit spaces, lowered voices, natural tension, and a reason to stick right by his nervous side. If anything goes bump, he'll jump right into your arms. Why didn't we think of this?! Austin Wilde's got the right idea pulling this stunt, tricking Parker into traveling into Next Door Studios' ubiquitous pool table room, pretending his cock is a phantom slapping Parker's beefy butt.

It ain't long before Parker's on his knees in fear, slurping away on that monster dick. Of course, since Next Door Studios (God bless 'em) is a porn conveyor belt, this brilliant set up doesn't raise nearly enough sexual tension as it could. Even the scene name gets negative points. "Bonergeist?" Really, guys? What about "Ghostfuckers?" "The Sexorcist?" (Okay, we're gonna give up, too.)

Ghost hunting is rife for a sexy spook spoof, full of wicked whoopee with horny haunts with slutty spirits. And we know gays and their dark rooms. Hunkalicious Zak Bagans of "Ghost Adventures" looks ready-made to show us his Slimer. An enterprising studio can make a mint on this idea. Jet Set Men, we're looking at you!

· Bonergeist (austinwilde.com)