What More Local Gay Bars Need Is Live Bartop Sex

Attention all you would-be gay bar owners. Want guaranteed success? We've got the (not so) secret. Along with copious amounts of alcohol, hire a bunch of dudes to have sex on the bartop. That may seem obvious, but why don't we see this sort of horny floor show more often?



Yes, yes, there are obscenity laws and what not that make this sort of thing illegal, but more entrepreneurial homos need to find ways to make regular live sex shows a bar hopping reality. We're not talking about go-go boys in thongs, but full on, dick out, puckered-rosebud-in-air nakedness. This is especially needed in New York City, where you have to hunt and search long and hard to find a gay spot serving up booze and nudity.



The closest thing we've witnessed in America is a lovely spot in Washington D.C. named "Secrets/Ziegfeld's." Waaaaay out in the city's industrial boondocks, the nightclub features fully naked hunks shaking their luscious manbits all up in everyone's face. The best thing is, the place isn't a sad sleazy joint, but a regular nightclub with drinks, dancing and tons of attractive groups of gays simply out for a night o' fun. Fully nude dancers simply happen to be included, too. Score!

Our only gripe with "Secrets/Ziegfeld's" is the "above the navel, below the knee" touching policy. Oooooh, what a cocktease to see that plump shaft inches from us, and we're not allowed to grab!

Mercifully, we'll always have Montreal.

To anyone opening up bars in New York: find ways to get us more naked dancers. We'll be patrons for life.

· Bric, Dustin, Nick, Rusty & Zander (activeduty.com)
· Secrets/Ziegfled's (secretsdc.com)