Here Are the Men With the Smallest Penises In Brooklyn

Last weekend, for reasons that I can't understand, a bar in Brooklyn hosted "The Smallest Penis In Brooklyn Pageant" so they could watch men with tiny penises prance around the bar completely naked and award the tiniest peen with a $200 cash prize. It was a raging success, because judging by these photos, most of the contestants were incapable of penetrating anything.

Not sure why anyone would waste a perfectly good Saturday night measuring dicks by centimeters, but CockyBoys' Go-Go Harder was dancing on the bar, so I guess there's that.

I like gigantic dicks, but I refuse to knock the winner, 27-year-old Queens resident Nick Gilronan, because he preached a pretty positive message about heightened self-esteem in his post-win interview with Gothamist. We can't all have the smallest penis in Brooklyn, so let's at least learn from the man who does:

Do you think that small dicks have a bad rep? Yes. That's the media's fault, I think. For both men and women, they push out images of people who just aren't regular normal people. The size of a man's penis does not matter for who he is as a person or in a relationship. Same thing with breast size. We're all made in different shapes and sizes, but the media puts pressure on people to look a certain way. Most people do not look that way. Some people let that false sense of body image upset them and they shouldn't be upset at all. Even worse, some people use those false standards and judge other people. It's disconcerting.

Are you done reading? Sorry, I was watching this.

Anywho, here are the rest of the night's teeny tiny peens, as captured by Gawker's new photo site, Dodge & Burn. Would you sit on them?

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